


17 Years (and You're Still Everything to Me)

by fireroasted



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Coming of Age, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Growing Up is Hard, Romance, Time Skips, Tiny bit of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireroasted/pseuds/fireroasted
Summary: 13-year-old Karolina Dean is trying not to be in love with her best friend. Even on the best of days, it doesn’t always work, but it doesn’t stop her from trying.When a misunderstanding propels her into an alternate future she doesn't want, Karolina realizes that she has a lot of growing up to do.AKA The 13 Going on 30 AU that nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

Karolina Dean blinked into the mirror in her latest outfit and pursed her lips. She had been here for hours, and her bed was now a mounded burial ground for discarded clothing. Her mother wouldn’t like it, but she wouldn’t understand anyway. How could her mother possibly understand the sheer weight of selecting the  _ perfect _ outfit for tonight. 

Soft music played in the background as if she were in a teen movie. And according to those movies Gert had been introducing her to lately, this T-shirt and jeans combo was  _ way _ too girl-next-door. She wasn’t completely sure what that meant, but from Gert’s tone, it didn’t always seem like a good thing. And Gert seemed to know  _ way _ more about this stuff than she did. She wiggled out of her jeans and pulled on a too-short skirt she had hidden from her mother for the entirety of last week. 

Karolina was turning thirteen tonight. She was going to be a woman. Most of all,  _ other people  _ needed to understand that she was going to be a woman. That’s what Gert said anyway. When you turn thirteen, the boys will look at you differently. That’s when you have to start smashing the patriarchy. Whatever that meant. 

She wasn’t entirely convinced that she wanted boys to look at her, but surely, she thought as she patted down the white tennis skirt, somebody  _ else  _ would. 

Somebody, perhaps, like her best friend. 

Karolina flushed, despite the privacy of her room and her thoughts, as she roamed her eyes over the skirt. Would she notice? Would she finally see her differently? As someone other than a childhood friend? After all, they weren’t children anymore. Sleepovers were a little different now. She pulled the skirt a little higher to reveal one more inch of skin, then, embarrassed, she pulled it back down. Gert once said that women should be allowed to wear whatever they wanted, but she couldn’t help but visualize her mother shaking her head. She pulled it up again. Just a smidge. A compromise. 

She fingered the pleats, heart pounding. Would Nico finally notice?

Two weeks ago, she had gone to public library with Nico, roaming around as they often did, pointing out recommendations and reading them in the big plush chairs together. This time, however, there had been a group of high school students hanging out by their usual spot, and they had watched, peering above their books, as a blonde girl in that exact same skirt wrapped her arms around a boy while he glued things onto a poster board. The boy had turned, and kissed the girl on the cheek, and Karolina had felt a pang of envy—it would be nice, she thought, if Nico could kiss her on the cheek like that, even if, at thirteen, Karolina was already a great deal taller. She imagined Nico tiptoeing up to meet her cheek, or her, turning her head, momentarily distracted from her work, to kiss the top of Nico’s head. Either scenario filled Karolina’s chest with warmth and just a tinge of guilt. 

Her eyes then slid across the top of the novel she was pretending to read, and had watched Nico’s focused, yet shy expression as she observed the older teens. When Nico finally caught her staring, they exchanged a small smile. Nico hid her eyes and mumbled about the girl’s nice skirt, while Karolina, unbeknownst to her best friend, was already planning a trip to the mall.

A week later, Karolina bought the same skirt, but couldn’t work up the courage to wear it.

It was so  _ short _ ! It hadn’t looked so short when the girl was wearing it, but when Karolina stretched up, it barely covered half her thigh. What would Nico say? Would she think it looked weird on her? She thought of the girl’s boyfriend, and wondered how he reacted when he first saw the girl in that skirt. No, no, this was Nico, not some  _ boy _ . Sweet, innocent Nico. She wasn’t a pervert. 

Oh, Nico, her heart sighed. What would it take for her to notice?

Suddenly, her bedroom door burst open, and Karolina yelped, grabbing a nearby jacket to cover her legs, face flooded with shame. 

Her mother, Leslie Dean, walked in, and, surveying the room, crossed her arms and cocked her brow. “Karolina, what is going  _ on _ in here?”

Karolina shook her head to clear the mist that gathered in her thoughts. “N-nothing, Mom,” she stammered. 

Leslie Dean was the caricature of a good Christian woman. Poised, elegant, and composed at all times. There was a musicality to her voice that both frightened and soothed Karolina. Her mother walking into the middle of her daydream? This was definitely not one of those soothing times, She loved her mother very much, but there were simply things she could never tell her—things she could never understand. She couldn’t even  _ imagine _ the consequences. At best, she’d probably never let her stay over at the Minorus’ house ever again, and she didn’t think she could  _ survive _ if that happened. 

Leslie eyed the jacket poorly covering a skirt she did not recognize for a moment. Karolina ducked her eyes, mumbling something she couldn’t catch. Little did Karolina know, Leslie was quick to recognize this scene from her own childhood—dressing up in different personas to please a middle school crush—but, unable to bring herself to drop the mask she’d gotten so used to carrying around for television, bit back a smile. Her little girl really was growing up. Other mothers would probably have scolded their daughters. Perhaps, they may even have teased them. 

But other mothers were not world-renowned leaders and heirs to their fathers’ global conglomerate of charitable foundations. 

That was the thing with Leslie Dean—everyone thought they knew her when they saw her face plastered on papers and screens. Recognized worldwide for her charisma, warmth, intelligence, leadership, and, unfortunately, her marriage to the now-disgraced actor, Frank Dean, everyone had an opinion about Leslie Dean. She had supporters and naysayers, friends, allies, and enemies, but none truly understood how much she loved her only daughter. Especially Karolina herself. 

Leslie was the first to admit that she was not a perfect mother. Barely around, distant, and at times pouring out the frustrations of the world’s expectations onto Karolina in a way that didn’t help the girl’s already demure personality. But she tried to show her love whenever she could. It was just different—like keeping the last name of the world’s vilest man just so she could share a bond with her daughter. She hated the title of ”Mrs. Dean, Frank’s wife”, but liked the sound of “Mrs. Dean, Karolina’s mother”. So, it was inevitable, she conceded, that they would never be the kind of mother and daughter who shared secrets, but at least she hoped Karolina knew how much she wanted to be. 

“I just wanted to say happy birthday again,” she said, reaching out to squeeze Karolina’s shoulder. Karolina, familiar with the stilted affection, simply nodded. Despite how much she enjoyed, and at times craved, the safe scent of her mother’s perfume when she hugged her, she was also old enough to understand that she didn’t need to be coddled. 

After all, she was a teenager now. 

“Thanks, Mom.” 

“I have to head to the airport soon,” Leslie said with a small, apologetic smile and a tilt of her head. “Do you want anything from New York?”

Karolina shrugged her shoulders, but, catching a glimpse of her mother’s crestfallen expression, she plastered on a smile in return. “Cheesecake?” 

“Yes,” Leslie cleared her throat as she dropped her hand. A small smile appeared in place of a wider, less-composed grin. “Wonderful. We will have a proper celebration when I return. Have fun at the Wilders’ tonight, okay, darling? It was very kind of them to host your party at their guest house.” Her eyes scanned the mess with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “It’s been a while since you’ve all had a sleepover, so don’t worry so much about what you’re wearing.” She paused, then, in a moment of recklessness, added, “I’m sure whoever you like will find you beautiful regardless.”

Karolina gasped. “M-Mom!” 

With a quick kiss to the air around her daughter’s cheek, Leslie bid her daughter goodbye and slipped out of the room. Left alone and beyond mortified, Karolina held her face and groaned. 

At precisely 5 PM, Karolina stood fixing the lavender ribbon in her braid as she stood outside her front door, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet as she watched a red car pull up into the driveway. She grinned, bouncing down the steps, then, remembering herself, pulled down her skirt a little more and walked over to the car, graceful and dignified. She hoped. 

When she reached for the door handle to the backseat, the window came down. “Hey, birthday girl!” A round, beaming face greeted her with a smile wide enough to eat her whole. Karolina’s stomach lurched. 

She tried not to stutter. “Hi, Nico.” 

The door opened and two hands pulled her inside, tugging her so hard that, for a moment, Karolina found herself hovering halfway above a lilac dress. Nico laughed, pushing her upright all too soon. “Still clumsy, huh?” Nico teased. 

“Hey! You can’t bully me on my birthday!”

Nico dropped a hand into the middle seat, leaning back to give her a smug, mischievous grin—Karolina glanced down, then up into her eyes. “I can bully you whenever I want,” Nico declared. “That’s what best friends are for.”

Inexplicably, Karolina suddenly felt very warm. There was something about Nico’s voice that made her feel very strange, and she found herself opening and closing her mouth, unable to form a reply. Fortunately, a voice in the front seat saved her. 

“C’mon, Nico, play nice. Hey, Karolina!”

Karolina turned, smoothing her skirt over her knees as much as possible as she greeted the driver. “Hey, Amy,” she said, grinning. 

“Wow, look at you! You’re all grown up now, huh?” Amy laughed. “You better be careful with that short skirt tonight. You never know who’s gawking. But don’t worry. I’ll have to go into big sister mode and teach those boys and girls a lesson if you feel uncomfortable!” 

“I hope it won’t go that far,” she replied with a polite giggle.  _ Girls _ ? Nico and Gert? She glanced at Nico, who was rolling her eyes. Karolina dismissed the thought—Amy had always been a little weird. 

“Well, when in doubt: grab, twist, and pull.”

What the heck did  _ that _ mean?

“O-Okay.”

Amy shook her head, sighed wistfully. “Yep, you’re really growing up. You’re getting so pretty now, Karolina. It’s better to be careful, you know. Never know who’s going to snap you up! Isn’t that right, Nico?”

“God, please stop talking, already. You’re so embarrassing,” Nico grumbled, sliding down her seat in exasperation. “When did you become one of those creepy grandmas?” 

“Oh, shut up,” Amy said, grinning at her sister through the rearview mirror. “You’d be pretty too if you lay off the insults. You might even be  _ cute _ .” 

Nico crossed her arms. “Bite me.” 

Karolina laughed uneasily, and turned to give Nico a sheepish smile in hopes of diffusing the flood of embarrassment. Nico, however, was looking out the window suddenly. She adjusted the lilac hair band and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. The tips of those ears were red. 

Karolina didn’t know what Amy was talking about—Nico had always been the cutest girl in the world. 

As the car pulled out of the driveway and sped toward the Wilders’ mansion, they chatted about the everyday things. How Mrs. Dean was away again and how that was so much better than Mrs. Minoru’s daily craziness. How middle school compared to high school, how the popular kids got exponentially annoying. They talked about the science fair project they were paired up to do, and Amy laughed when Nico preemptively declared them the winners because they were “the greatest partners the universe has ever seen.”

All the while, Karolina was still thinking about the half-hidden expression of Nico’s face and the way the redness in her ear still hadn’t faded since Amy had joked about her skirt. It must’ve been something else, Karolina told herself. Or just the awkwardness that came with having a cool but sometimes embarrassing older sister. Or maybe, the mischievous deep-down part of her whispered, she really  _ was _ seeing her differently. Maybe now she could...she glanced at Nico’s hand resting on the middle seat and slid her own hand a little closer. She inched closer still, but her heart was beating so hard that it ached. 

Maybe not today, she thought, moving her hand back into her own lap. Maybe not ever. But the  _ idea _ of Nico seeing her differently, of Nico letting her hold her hand and threading their fingers together. It was...nice. 

For now, she simply turned to her own window and smiled past her own reflection. 

When they pulled up to the massive front door of the Wilders’ estate, a greeting party approached the vehicle with flocks of pink and white balloons. 

Opening the door was skinny Alex Wilder with his big glasses and enough hair to make up for his height. Beside him, tallish, scrawny Chase Stein with his mop of scruffy brown hair and rosy cheeks. Off to the side was red-haired Gertrude Yorke with her arms crossed over a body she still hadn’t gotten used to yet.    
  


They were her best friends in the whole world, and as far as young Karolina was concerned, the best friends that she would ever make in her life. Even if they got older and grew apart, they would always be able to come back together. It was the kind of friendship that they make movies about, and Karolina couldn’t be more excited to spend her birthday here. 

She scrambled out to greet them each with a hug. They clamoured around her, wishing her happy birthday several times over and making grandma jokes until Amy cleared her throat and said her goodbyes, claiming to have better things to do than hang out with children. They stuck their tongues out, then stood there waving until the red car was no longer in view. Turning to each other in a mutual realization of  _ no adult supervision _ , they burst into excited giggles and dashed across the estate toward the guest house. 

“Where’s Molly?” Karolina asked as they walked across the massive lawn. It would be another five minutes until they arrived at the guest house, and though the excitement still had her heart beating a little too quickly, there was something very calming about the evening sky and the fresh-cut grass.

Gert raised a heavily painted brow. “At home. Obviously,” she replied. “I’m not going to bring my kid sister to a party like this.  _ Trust  _ me.” 

Karolina blinked. “What do you mean?” 

Gert clapped her on the shoulder and stopped them in their tracks. “Sweet, innocent Karolina,” she said, shaking her head. “What do you see when you look out here?” 

Karolina’s line of sight followed Gert’s finger, where Chase, Alex, and Nico were walking about twenty paces ahead. Nico gave Chase a shove—Karolina turned back to Gert. “Um, our friends?” 

“Look,” Gert said, shoving both hands in her jean jacket, “I’m not stupid. I don’t know who it is yet, but I  _ know _ you have a crush, and it  _ has  _ to be one of us. You’ve been weird for the last couple weeks now, you know. And you’re thirteen now. You have to make your  _ move _ . The future of womankind rests on your shoulders.” 

“W-what? That’s...really dramatic, Gert,” Karolina said, blushing in spite of herself. 

“Hah!” She cried, jabbing Karolina’s arm with a finger, “you didn’t deny it. You  _ do _ like one of us.”

“Oh c’mon...you’re starting to sound like those popular girls you hate so much.” 

She gasped. “What? No! Ew, don’t even say that. Okay, fine, crushes are super cliche, but I’m as much of a victim of the patriarchy as anybody.”

“Whatever you say,” Karolina replied with a laugh. “But I’m not telling.”

“You’re no fun!”

Karolina stuck her tongue out, earning a playful slap on the shoulder from her friend. When the giggles subsided, the orange-red L.A. sky seemed suddenly a little  _ too _ still compared to the frantic rush of blood to her cheeks. Karolina glanced at Gert, expecting and dreading another question. 

It didn’t come. Instead, Gert kicked at the grass with her oversized boots. 

“Well, it’s just,” she began nervously, “whoever you like...it better...better not be Chase, okay? I-I mean, it’s not, right?” 

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t like Chase.” 

Embarrassed, Gert simply nodded, then, looking away, shoved both hands back into her pocket. “Good.” She exhaled, then turned to Karolina with a grin. “So...when are you going to tell them?”

“Them?” Karolina said, laughing nervously. “There’s only one person…”

“Oh my God, you know what I mean,” Gert said, poking her slightly with an elbow. “Don’t play dumb. I raised you better than that.”

“I’m older than you!” 

“By, like, a couple months,” Gert replied with a roll of her eyes. Everyone Karolina knew was getting very good at that. Karolina, herself, as usual, was just a few steps behind. 

“Okay, if you’re so smart, then why don’t you tell Chase how you feel?” 

Karolina had expected resistance, maybe even embarrassment—at least enough to take the glaring spotlight out of her own face. But Gert simply looked at her and arched a brow. “Because he thinks  _ you  _ like him.”

“Oh,” Karolina said. “But I don’t?”

Gert shook her head. “That’s why, sweet Karolina, I’m telling you. Go flirt with the person you have a crush on, or there’s gonna be a  _ lot  _ of misunderstandings.”

“F-flirt? I don’t know how to flirt!” 

Gert shrugged, blushing slightly. “Me neither. Go tell them they look sexy with their hair pushed back, or something.”

“Won’t they look bald?”

“Not that far back!” Gert howled, throwing her head back in laughter. 

Just as Karolina opened her mouth to defend herself, Chase turned around and, cupping his mouth with his hands like a makeshift megaphone, yelled, “Hey, slowpokes! Hurry up!”

Gert shook her head. “That idiot,” she mumbled. Still, she was smiling, almost adoring in the way she tried to hold back a giggle as they watched him wave frantically at them. There was absolutely nothing unfamiliar about this scene—Chase was always a goofball—and yet, as Karolina studied the gentle expression on Gert’s face, she wondered if she looked like that too, sometimes. 

Gert took off running to rejoin the others—Karolina lifted her eyes to follow her, and in that moment Nico turned, flashing a carefree smile as she gestured for Karolina to hurry up. 

Karolina grinned. Did she look like that right now? She ran toward Nico, wondering and laughing when she caught her outstretched hand. The butterflies in her stomach returned, by now her constant companions whenever Nico was around. 

It was then, with Nico’s hand in hers as they approached the house, that Karolina realized she didn’t mind the butterflies. This brought a whole different kind of nausea as she clutched her chest. These feelings that she kept locked up so tightly inside her chest. They weren’t  _ normal _ . Were they? Was it normal to feel so queasy when Nico’s fingers tightened around her own? They’d always held hands growing up, but now...it was different, and it gave Karolina a headache. At least, it was different for her. 

All these feelings she had—she mused as she glanced at Gert and Chase—were almost just like the kind that all those movies described. The kind Gert sighed about whenever she forgot to pretend she was cool. The kind Nico thought was kind of boring. The kind Karolina wasn’t sure she understood. 

But these feelings...they were different too, she decided as she swung Nico’s arm and earned herself a big smile that sent her heart soaring. Nico was way more wonderful than any of those men and women on screen.

It was just different. 

Karolina shook her head. At the end of the day, she didn’t want a movie romance. She just wanted to be with Nico forever. And that’s a normal best friend feeling to have. 

Right?

The five of them climbed the short steps up to the house, where Alex pulled open the glass doors. The Wilders’ guest house was covered in streamers and decorations, including, a banner and, unsettlingly, a large ultra high-definition poster of Karolina’s yearbook photo. Nico released her hand to double over in laughter—Karolina joined her, slapping Alex on the shoulder and congratulating him on the weirdest party decoration in the world. As her friends dispersed inside the room, she was sure nobody noticed how empty her hand felt. 

“Laugh all you want, but that picture of you is like the epitome of cool tech in action,” Alex said proudly. Oh, he was still here. 

“But is that really necessary?” Karolina said, raising a brow. “It’s so...cringey. And embarrassing.” 

Alex bumped her shoulder with his own. The bunch of balloons he was still carrying picked up strands of her hair as he spoke. “Nobody looks bad with so many beautiful pixels,” he declared proudly. “It took three hours to render, you know. I keep asking my dad to get me one of those new WizTech computers, but he says I don’t need it. I beg to differ. Yo, Nico!” 

Nico turned her attention away from the corner of the room where Chase was busy setting up the tower of pizza boxes and Gert was flipping through CDs. She tilted her head in a way that Karolina tried not to find adorable, so she looked up at Alex’s white and pink balloons, and shoved them back and away from her hair. 

“Hook me up with one of those new WizTech computers won’t you? It’s my birthday next,” Alex said, grinning broadly. 

“Ask my mom yourself, then,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Alex cringed, prompting an airy laugh from Nico. “That’s what I thought.”

Once Nico turned her attention back to the snack table to grab herself a drink, Alex leaned over to Karolina. “Don’t tell anyone,” he whispered, “but I think Nico likes me. Do you think I should ask her out?”

Karolina’s eyes darted toward Nico, who was laughing at something Gert said, then at Alex and his goofy smile. Back and forth, back and forth, looking for something to immediately confirm or deny the statement, a sinking feeling immediately twisting up her insides because of course Nico liked Alex. The loveable nerd and the cutest girl in the room. It made sense. 

She had wondered about this for a while. Since summer, Alex had been sweeter to Nico than anybody else. She wasn’t sure how Nico felt, though she vaguely understood a best friend’s right to ask private questions about boys. Karolina just wasn’t sure how to ask without exposing her own secret. And maybe, Karolina didn’t want to find out the answer. 

She clutched her wrist. 

“Earth to Karolina,” Alex said, waving a hand in front of her face. 

Karolina blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“Do you think I should ask Nico out?”

No! Hell no! Karolina wanted to scream, no matter how disappointed her mother would be in her for unprompted shouting. But...why not? It wasn’t like  _ she _ had a chance. Alex and Nico—that was...normal. Karolina and Nico, on the other hand...

Just before her thoughts could spiral any further, Nico’s voice cut through the room. “Why are you guys just standing there staring at Karolina’s picture?” 

Karolina couldn’t tell who Nico was looking at, but when Alex replied with something dorky and Nico laughed, her heart sank. She’d had enough. The party had barely begun, but she’d had enough. “Whatever,” she told Alex gruffly.

“Wait, is that a yes?” he asked, his mouth smiling so wide that Karolina wanted to stuff a sock into it—and Karolina wasn’t that kind of person. Not really. But there was something about his love-struck face that she really couldn’t stand. There was something about this whole situation that made her feel like she was losing it.

She was about two seconds from running out the door and cursing at the sky for this stupid crush when, fortunately, Chase announced that the pizza was ready. 

So, she took a breath. Calmed down enough to hopefully get through the night. 

You can do it, Karolina, she told herself as she rushed toward the table with the rest of her friends. You can be normal. It’s just one night. Just one out of countless others. No matter what happens, Alex and Nico are still your friends.

She looked up at the white and pink balloons that were now sticking against the vaulted ceiling. Chase pushed a paper plate into her hands. “Quit spacing out, Karolina,” he said. “It’s your party!” 

“Yeah,” she replied with a practiced smile. “Thanks.” 

For the next hour, things were easy. The five friends lounged around with greasy pizza in their hands, chatting and laughing, but mostly complaining about school. It was pretty easy until Gert suggested, much to everyone’s shock and horror, a game of spin the bottle. 

“Really, Gert? We’re  _ those  _ kinds of teenagers now?” Nico huffed. 

“Oh, c’mon,” Chase said, toothy grin and all, “it could be fun, guys!” 

Karolina put the last of her pizza on her plate—suddenly, she wasn’t so hungry anymore. Especially not with that intense look in Chase’s eyes locked right into her own. Gert’s words echoed—she didn’t like where this was going.

“Hey, what about hide and seek?” Karolina suggested. 

Gert, strangely, agreed all too readily, and not without a very unfriendly glare to boot. The tension in the air was thick. Fully queasy now, Karolina put her pizza down and curled up on the couch, extra careful not to let her skirt ride up too high. 

“That actually sounds a bit more fun,” Nico piped in, sending Karolina a big grin that made her chest ache in a way she loved and hated. “If you guys want to kiss each other—hide and don’t let me see it.” 

And that was how, roughly three minutes later, Karolina found herself in a closet, though she was years away from understanding the irony of her situation. Huddled up beside a shelf, she looked around her for something to bide her time with while she waited. It was mostly Alex’s clothes and old homework assignments. A box of stationary, a jar of glitter, and nondescript piles of paper. Well, it looked like it was just going to be her and her thoughts for a while. Karolina sighed. The worst place to be after Alex’s confession.

Then, something caught her eye—she was saved!

On the bottom shelf was an old magazine, a dusty one with a scantily clad woman on the cover. Who still reads magazines? She wondered. More importantly, why does _ Alex _ have this? Still, it was enough to pass the time. She skimmed through it for an interesting article, and came across a dog-eared page. “Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving,” the headline read. On the right was an image of a woman in a  _ very _ low-cut top and blazer. Karolina wasn’t sure what kind of job she was going to in an outfit like that, but it was enough to make her close the magazine and throw it back on the shelf. She would have to tease Alex about it one day. 

Still, she thought back to the headline and couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be thirty. Surely, she thought, she’d know what to do about this stupid crush. Surely, she wouldn’t still be feeling all these not-normal-best-friend things about Nico when she turns thirty, right? 

Thirty seemed so far away, but, she decided, it had to be better than being thirteen and helplessly and inappropriately wanting to kiss one of your best friends. Karolina covered her face. Okay. maybe not kiss, she told herself, she wasn’t a pervert. Holding hands would be okay. But, then again...a kiss might be nice. If she easily could wrap her arms around Nico and give her a kiss on the cheek—that would be nice too.

She groaned, and sank deeper into her hands. 

Why couldn’t thirty come sooner? Then she could be flirty and thriving or whatever. Anything but...whatever this confusing thirteen-year-old thing is. 

Ten minutes later, the closet door opened. Karolina held her breath, hoping it wasn’t Nico—firstly, because she was searching, and secondly, she wouldn’t know  _ what _ she would do if she were in a small, dark place with Nico. Especially after thinking about...that stuff. Would she be able to...no, no, no. Karolina hugged her knees, urging herself to calm down. She was  _ not _ a pervert, she repeated to herself. 

“Karolina?” came the voice at the door.

Whew. It was just Chase. 

“Wow, you’re so predictable,” he said with what he must’ve believed to be a cool chuckle. With his voice undergoing changes, it sounded more like a cross between a bullhorn and a scared cat. Not that Karolina would ever tell him. 

“Go away, Chase. This is my spot,” she said, waving him away.

“Oh c’mon, this is perfect.” He stood over her with his hands on his hips, projecting confidence despite his shaky fingers and pink cheeks. Karolina stood, her full height stretching a couple inches above him. She couldn’t stop staring at one of the pimples on his nose. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“W-well, you know.” 

Karolina blinked. “No, I don’t.” 

“This is like Seven Minutes in Heaven.” 

Karolina shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it doesn’t sound like the kind of Heaven my mom would say yes to.”

“Good thing your mom isn’t here then,” he said, moving closer. 

Oh, great. 

She shuffled back, but bumped into the shelf almost immediately. Cornered. “Chase,” she said, sternly as possibly in the hopes of getting her rejection across. 

“Don’t be shy,” he laughed. “I like you, and you like me right? It’s totally normal! Alex and Nico like each other too. They’re probably in another closet somewhere just like us.” 

But she didn’t like him. Not like that. 

She opened her mouth to tell him—she really wanted to tell him, but Karolina felt her heart drop through her stomach when she couldn’t stop picturing Alex and Nico kissing in a closet somewhere. 

What about Gert? A tiny part of her brain asked. 

Except she was still thinking about Alex and Nico, the jealousy searing through her veins, but the impossibility of it—she could feel her blood pumping frantically. God, she hated this stupid crush so much. 

Everything would be better if she could fast-forward time right now. 

That was the last thing she thought before Chase kissed her and somebody screamed. Karolina thought it might be her—at least, she was most definitely screaming on the inside—but when Chase jumped away and bumped his head, his face spotlighted by the open closet door, she realized it wasn’t her. 

It was Gert. Standing at the door with Alex and Nico peering in from either side. Gert, somehow bigger than life as she stood in the middle, her red hair practically standing on end in her fury. 

“W-what the hell, Karolina?” Gert shrieked. “You said you didn’t like him!” 

It wasn’t me, Karolina wanted to say. I don’t like him, she wanted to say. But the way Chase looked so red that he was ready to explode, and the way Nico and Alex were awkwardly looking at each other. She didn’t know what came over her next: the need to rescue Chase from this excruciatingly embarrassing situation? The need to escape her feelings for Nico? The need to feel  _ normal _ ? 

Because instead of saying everything she wanted to say, all that came out of her mouth was: “I lied.” 

The next few moments seemed to happen in slow-motion. Gert, reaching for the jar of glitter. Chase, leaping up to stop her. Alex and Nico, rushing forward. Muted yelling. Then, a flood of pink specks flying toward her, right toward Karolina’s face. 

Yep. If she could fast-forward time, she could avoid all of this misery. 

A cloud of pink hit her in the face. Then, everything turned black. 


	2. Chapter 2

Karolina awoke in an unfamiliar bed with  _ very _ soft, silk sheets. 

She sat up, gasping, as she tugged off her sleeping mask. Why was she wearing a  _ mask _ ? She’d only ever seen her mom wear them, but only if she was tired. Oh no. She’d seen a movie like this once—leaping out of her bed, she grabbed the sides of her full-length mirror with wide eyes. For a moment, she was relieved that she was not, in fact, stuck in the body of her mother. Then, she noticed the long, mussed-up blonde hair, swept to one side, and the tiny, pink, lacey negligee. She was taller, toner, tanner—herself, but  _ not _ herself. More like the woman in the magazine than herself, really. 

Still gripping the mirror, she mumbled, “What—what happened?” She stiffly released the mirror and stared. Her face, too, was undeniably hers. Sharper, older, her eyes a little dimmer, but hers nonetheless. She just…didn’t recognize this woman. 

This was so...weird. 

In the next several minutes, she walked around the bedroom like a woman possessed—and maybe, when no other explanations seemed to make sense, she really  _ was _ possessed—staring and examining every part of this unfamiliar room. She was sure the Wilders didn’t have a room like this. Neither did the Steins, Yorkes, or even the Minorus, and she knew every nook and cranny in the Minoru house. The decor was pastel, floral in its minimal design. Deep green walls and flowery curtains. A brown four-poster with silky pink sheets. No posters, no trinkets. Just a painting of a pink, glowing woman on the wall, a lamp, a couple of framed photographs of her and a strange woman in a headwrap, and a phone charging away on a white disk on the bedside table. 

This was  _ definitely  _ not her room. 

She had to get out of here. Or, at least, find somebody to explain  _ what was happening _ . 

She pulled on a jacket that was hanging behind the door and tied the belt tightly around her waist. If her mom was here, she  _ definitely  _ didn’t want her to see her walking around in this...dress. 

The apartment was clean and cozy, but tiny compared to the house she was used to. Her home had often felt too big for just her and her mom anyway, so this was kind of nice. More pictures hung around the house, mostly of herself, the strange woman in the headwrap, and a handful of people she didn’t recognize. She barely had a moment to register what she was seeing when metal suddenly clanged loudly in the kitchen. Karolina yelped and scrambled to hide in the threshold of her room. 

Metal continued to scrape against metal, as if somebody was...cooking? 

“Mom?” She called. Her voice was shaky, quiet, and unsure whether it wanted to be heard. A minute passed before she took a breath and decided to brave the hallway again. The kitchen was straight down the hall. Just in case, she grabbed an umbrella from the stand near the front door. 

Slowly, she peeked into the kitchen, umbrella tightly in hand. 

Standing at the stove was the woman in the headwrap. The woman turned at the sound of movement, and smiled brightly. She was slender, tall, beautiful with her dark skin and bright eyes. “Good morning, my betrothed,” she said. “I trust you slept well. I am making omelette. Would you care for some? I have purchased a new, um, what do you call it, a bottle? A jar? Container? A container of truffle salt.”

Karolina blinked. She spoke funny. A foreigner, perhaps? But that alone wasn’t enough to distract her from the strangest part of that sentence. 

“B-betrothed? Me?” 

The woman turned, spatula dangling in the air as she spoke. “Are you not feeling well, my love? Perhaps you ought to stay home today. And why, might I ask, are you holding an umbrella?” 

“Y’know, um, that’s a good idea. I think I’ll just...go back to bed,” Karolina said, pointing at the door with a sheepish smile. The woman smiled, said something she didn’t quite catch, and went back to her cooking. Karolina wasted no time in scrambling down the hall and darting back under the slippery covers of her bed. 

Under the semi-darkness of her comforter was the first time Karolina noticed the sparkling diamond ring on her finger.

She, Karolina Dean, daughter of  _ the _ Leslie Dean, was  _ engaged _ to a  _ woman _ . That’s just...that’s just not allowed. Did she die? Was this Heaven? But she didn’t even know that woman! She was pretty, but she wasn’t—

No, no, Karolina, don’t get distracted, she told herself sternly. 

What was  _ happening _ ? 

Maybe if she went back to sleep, she’d wake up and this would all be a bad dream. 

Just as she laid her head down on the pillow, however, sudden loud music filled the room, jolting her into untangling herself from the blankets. It was something poppy and electric, something she didn’t recognize. She shook her head, and spun around in the direction of the sound—the slim, white cell phone on her bedside table. 

Warily, she poked her head out of the covers, her blankets still wrapped around her ears like a turtle in its shell. She inched a little closer on her elbows, until she was just close enough to see the name flashing brightly on the screen. 

It was...Chase? Chase! 

She dove for the phone. 

“Chase!” She cried. 

“Karo—”

“Chase, stop, listen.” 

Somehow, just the first note of his voice sent a swell of feelings rising up into her chest. His voice is deeper, but somehow unmistakably Chase. At the very least, it was something familiar. Don’t cry, Karolina, she told herself. She needed to stay calm. Needed to explain all this weirdness no matter how much her eyes prickled as she cradled the phone to her ear. 

“Something is really weird, Chase. I’m in an apartment I don’t recognize, and there’s a strange woman here and she says I’m her betrothed! Please help me—I don’t know what to do and I’m really scared. Where are you? Can you call my mom?” She hadn’t realized how much she was losing control, how fast she was talking, and how much she was shaking until Chase spoke, telling her to slow down and breathe. 

“Are you okay?” He asked once she quieted down. “Did you go drinking last night?”

Karolina gasped. “What? No! I’m thirteen!” 

As soon as she said that, her eyes glanced up at the mirror and at her own reflection. She was  _ probably _ not thirteen anymore, but what else was she supposed to say? 

“Karolina...what are you talking about? Are you alone right now? Where’s Xavin?” 

“Who?” 

“Okay, that’s it. I’m coming over.” 

Fifteen minutes later, Karolina was pressed against her bedroom door, listening. She couldn’t hear anything more than vague murmurs, but the heavy footsteps hurrying toward her room soon sent her scrambling back. By now she had pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, the first things she pulled from the closet that weren’t short, stringy, or too complicated-looking. 

“Karolina? I’m coming in,” said a voice at the door.

“My love, may I enter as well?” 

Karolina opened her mouth, but was relieved when the other voice answered for her. “I better go in alone first, Xavin.”

“I understand.” 

The door squeaked open, and in stepped a tall, broad man. Karolina ducked behind her four-poster, grabbing the umbrella she had left on the floor. “W-who are you?” she demanded. “You’re not—you’re not Chase!” 

The main raised both hands. He was muscular and trim in his black suit and glasses, angular, hair and face built like an Abercrombie and Fitch model—this wasn’t the skinny, pimply boy who  _ just  _ tried to kiss her. If he was Chase, then—then why was he  _ taller  _ than her? 

“You know me, Karolina. You’ve known me forever,” he said, carefully advancing like she were a scared cat. “I don’t know what happened to you, but it’s me, okay? Always been, always will be.” 

“P-prove it!” Karolina said, shaking her umbrella. “Tell me something about yourself.” 

“Uh, my parents are Victor and Janet Stein and...I like fish fingers and cold beer?” 

Karolina made a face. “That doesn’t prove anything! Anybody can like those things,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Okay, if you’re  _ really  _ Chase, then tell me what happened at Alex’s eighth birthday party?” 

At this, he dropped his hands and groaned. “Seriously? Is anybody ever going to let that go?” 

“Answer the question.”

He rubbed his face, sighing. “We were at the water park,” he grumbled. “You guys pressured me to go up to the diving platform. I was scared, and I peed my trunks. Happy?” 

Karolina giggled at the memory in spite of herself. Chase smiled too, relaxing visibly when Karolina dropped the umbrella back on the floor. She sat down heavily on the bed, Chase joining her at a distance apart. 

“You really are Chase,” she said in awe. “When did you start wearing glasses?”

Chase scoffed. “Always. When nobody was looking, anyway. You teased me about it in freshman year and I ended up getting contacts for the next six years. Remember?”

“Also, you’re, like,  _ huge _ .”

Chase raised a brow. “Okay, something is off. You gotta be honest with me, Karolina. What happened? What’s the last thing you remember?”

So, she told him about the party, the hide and seek, and Gert getting angry. It sounded crazy even to her as the words came spilling out, but she didn’t know what else to do other than to tell the truth. It wasn’t like she was ever good at lying anyway. Besides, she’d known Chase forever. He’d know what to do, right? Well, maybe. His puzzled expression wasn’t reassuring, but at least he’d listen. 

At the end, his brows were scrunched in a way that made him look a lot like his dad. “Karolina,” he said slowly, “that was...seventeen years ago. Are you sure you’re okay? Were you in some kind of accident last night?” 

“S-seventeen years?” That was longer than she’d been alive! What was he talking about?

“Yeah,” he said, running a hand down his face once more, “I mean, Jesus Christ, we don’t even talk to those guys anymore. We haven’t been friends for years. You and I, we only got back in touch a few weeks ago because your assistant quit and I’m technically on sabbatical and fate has a really twisted sense of humour sometimes.” 

Karolina gasped.  _ Not friends _ ? With  _ everyone _ ? Not even with...Nico? “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” she said, slapping him lightly across the upper arm. “You’re joking right?”

“Which part? Because I wish I was joking about all of it. I mean, how the hell did I, the brilliant Dr. Chase Stein, end up being your assistant?” He said, chuckling. “At least I get to meet a ton of beautiful women,” he added with a grin. “Never a lonely night as your faithful assistant.”

“Ew! Chase! Seriously?” 

Chase frowned. “Wow, you’re really a kid, aren’t you?” He scrunched his nose. “Wait, does that mean we can’t talk about girls anymore?” 

“W-why would I want to talk about girls?”

He shot her a look, partly confused and almost reprimanding, but did not elaborate. Instead, he stood, smiled, and held up his cellphone. “Do you want to get some ice cream? I can call a driver.”

“I like ice cream. But...you...you think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

Chase laughed, the sound oddly familiar despite how different his voice had become. “No, I don’t think you’re crazy. If it’s one thing you learn from being the son of the oh-so-great Victor Stein, it’s that nothing is ever too crazy. Besides,” he shrugged, “you’re still Karolina, right? I know I said we haven’t been friends for years, but you’ll always be  _ my _ friend, so I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” 

She searched his face. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but...could it be so simple? Then again, Chase had always been a simple guy. 

And this guy was, apparently, the only friend she had left. 

The only friend. 

What  _ happened _ ?

So, in a moment of vulnerability that surprised even herself, she scooted toward him to wrap her arms around his middle in a big hug. His arm came down, awkwardly patting her on the back. “Yeah, this is going to be super weird.”

Suddenly, Chase’s phone blared with what seemed to be a hundred text messages. “Shit,” he mumbled, much to Karolina’s surprise and mild horror, “it’s your manager. Dammit, we have a shoot today. I almost forgot— _ that’s _ why I called you this morning. Fu—uh, furk. Fork.” He caught himself when Karolina widened her eyes, then rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess we better head to work, huh?”

“Work? B-but I’m—”

“A kid, I know. And, again, I believe you, but ‘sorry, I’m thirteen today so I can’t come to work’ is a pretty hard sell.” His gaze softened when she hung her head, lips jutted slightly, so he kneeled down and lightly touched her arm. “Don’t be sad,” he said. “We’ll figure it out, alright? I’ll make sure nobody asks too many questions, and all you have to do is go with the flow and look pretty. It’ll be okay.”

Karolina closed her eyes. “Okay.”

They were stuck in traffic inside a nondescript black car, and had been for the last ten minutes. Having passed several photos of her own face on various buses, billboards, and buildings in the short time they’d been in the car, Karolina had so many questions, but one in particular had continued bothering her for over twenty minutes now. 

She turned to Chase and watched him tap away at his phone for a couple of minutes while she gathered her courage. 

“Chase?”

“Yeah?” He said, eyes glued to the screen.

“Why aren’t we friends anymore? Did I do something wrong?” 

Chase didn’t have to look at the hurt and confusion on her face to know she wasn’t just talking about the two of them. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Karolina’s. “Life happens, I guess,” he said vaguely. 

“Chase.” 

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I guess...well, you probably don’t remember, but a little after your thirteenth birthday, things started to change. I can’t say why, exactly. I asked you out for the spring dance, and you said yes. We dated for a little while, and pretty soon, high school came around and we all got busy. I joined the lacrosse team, Alex had his computer club, Gert started some sort of social justice group, and Nico...well Nico wasn’t the same after freshman year. So, yeah. Life happens. That’s all I can really tell you, Karolina. People grow up, change, and move on.” 

There were so many things wrong with everything he said, so many things Karolina couldn’t even  _ imagine _ , but above all— 

“What happened to Nico?” 

Chase dropped his hands into his lap, his phone forgotten between his palms. “I...well, we don’t like to talk about it. And if you really are thirteen, then I think it’s best you don’t know. Don’t want to mess up the space-time continuum if you were a time traveller,” he tried to joke. 

“But—”

“Let’s just...not. Okay?” He gave her a sympathetic smile, and fell into silence. 

“Okay,” she conceded with a sigh. She wanted to push, to know, but Chase was her only friend now. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Hey, Chase?” she said, suddenly remembering something to break up the tension with.

“Hm?”

“Did you and Gert ever go out?” 

“W-what?”

“Well...you know Gert has liked you since she was old enough to have a crush, right?” 

“ _ What _ ?” Chase cried, whipping his head over to look at her with such force that she thought he might hurt himself. 

Karolina’s brows shot up. “What? She never told you? We’re, like, thirty, right?”

“ _ What _ ?” he repeated, one hand coming down to slap the middle seat between them in disbelief. 

“Jeez, Chase. It was  _ so _ obvious,” Karolina laughed. 

“Oh, that’s rich coming from the girl who followed  _ someone  _ around all through middle school with those ‘please love me, please, please, please’ eyes of yours.”

“W-what are you talking about?”

But Chase wasn’t listening. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He groaned, running a hand through his messy brown hair. “I had such a crush on her all through high school, but she kept calling me a dumb jock.”

Karolina could imagine the scene perfectly, despite never having met high school Gert, who could probably only be a more intense version of the Gert she knew. In spite of the wounded puppy-dog look on Chase’s face, she couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Hey, that’s mean!” Chase said. 

“Did you ever tell her how you felt?” She asked. She gave herself a mental high-five for the super wise question she’d learned from hours of marathoning romantic comedies ‘ironically’ with Gert.

Chase shook his head. “I tried but, I don’t know, she’s so...smart. She sees the world in such an amazing and beautiful way. In a way that I never could, I guess? I think if I was smart enough to realize how cool she was back in middle school...things might be different?”

“If you still like her, why were you joking about models earlier?” Karolina asked, tilting her head. “At least, I thought you were joking.” 

Chase studied her face to see if she was being serious, but, finding only earnestness, he simply shook his head. “Karolina, we aren’t thirteen anymore. Hell, even high school was over a decade ago now. There’s no more little crushes and fighting over who likes who,” he said with a resigned smile. “It’s just different now. Our whole lives are different now. Maybe...we aren’t who we used to be anymore. Me? I drink and meet beautiful women and enjoy my freedom as the most eligible bachelor in Los Angeles. Gert? She goes to farmers markets on Sundays with boring guys named Earl.” 

Karolina nodded slowly. “Okay, um, what about me? Am I different now?”

“You, my friend,” he said, gesturing toward the window, “are living the life. You’re practically a superstar. Loved and beloved everywhere.”

“Yeah...I noticed...it’s pretty weird. I’m famous, huh? Like my mom?” she asked incredulously. 

“Yep,” he laughed. “Just like the great Mrs. Dean. Maybe not for the same reasons.”

“Woah,” Karolina said, leaning back. 

“Yeah,” Chase said wistfully, “nothing is what it used to be.” 

Nearly forty-five minutes later, Karolina found herself swept into a large room filled with people and equipment. She barely had time to take it all in when dozens of hands seemed to be busying over her at the same time. Someone combed her hair at the same time that someone else was tugging her toward a change room. She didn’t even realize Chase had disappeared until the door closed behind her and the silence returned. 

“Three minutes until make-up, Karolina!” someone called from the other side. 

Alone in her changing room suddenly, she blinked. The day was just getting weirder and weirder. 

She held up the clothing in her hand. Or, what she  _ thought _ was clothing until she had the chance to take a look.  It was less than twenty-four hours ago  that thirteen-year-old Karolina Dean stood in front of her mirror, anxiously pulling down what she had considered to be an extraordinarily short skirt. And now? Thirteen-year-old Karolina Dean was supposed to walk outside  _ in public _ in a  _ bikini _ . 

“Two minutes!” the person outside shouted impatiently. 

Karolina silently hoped her mother would forgive her as she peeled off her clothes and pulled on the pale blue garments. Was this normal for thirty-year-old Karolina? Was Leslie okay with this?

Woah. Karolina stopped in front of the mirror to admire her image. Wow. Did she have to give up eating bread like they do on TV? 

Suddenly, someone banged on her door and called her name. Then, she was in the hallway, scrunched up and anxious as she tried to cover herself. Luckily, someone was kind enough to throw a blanket on her. She next found herself seated in front of a mirror, blinded by several dozen light bulbs. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Once the whiteness faded, she blinked several times. 

She gasped. 

“Karolina.” 

Karolina whipped around, her heart leaping out of her chest when she met the familiar, yet  _ very _ unfamiliar face of the last person she expected to see. 

She breathed in sharply, pushing a barely audible half-squeak through her lips. 

Nico?  _ Nico _ ?

Gone were the lilacs and pastels she remembered. In their place were layers of blacks and reds, lace and netting—Karolina wasn’t sure  _ what _ she was looking at. Her hair was pinned up, blacker than she remembered. And she never used to wear make-up, but her skin was as pale as a doll, her eyes as dark as night, and her lips were so, so red. Karolina looked away and at her reflection, where she felt Nico’s gaze searing into her skin. 

She was different, but just as stunning as the Nico she knew. Older, more worn—just like her. Just as...disorienting as the Nico she knew. She couldn’t be happier to see her, and yet she hadn’t expected her feelings to come back with such force. Even though this older Nico in black looked like she wanted to punch her, and Karolina didn’t know why but maybe...she wouldn’t mind? No, no, she wasn’t about to go down  _ that _ particular rabbit hole. More importantly, why wasn’t Nico happy to see  _ her _ ?

Her heart clenched—why weren’t they friends anymore? 

Oh God, and why did she have to be almost naked in this stupid swimsuit? Karolina tugged the blanket closer around her shoulder, more than aware that her legs were fully exposed. 

Nico’s eyes darted down at the movement, then quickly back up to meet Karolina’s eyes through the mirror. Karolina could barely breathe. 

“H-hi, Nico,” she said, smiling nervously. 

Nico did not smile back, and it felt like a punch in the gut. And not a good one. “It’s been a while,” she said flatly. She pulled out a brush from a belt strapped to her waist, and got to work being at a very close proximity to Karolina’s face and being completely and unfairly oblivious to the way she was twisting up her insides. 

The silence was almost unbearable while she watched Nico work, even more so when they kept catching each other’s eyes in the mirror whenever she pulled back to assess her work.

She tried not to stare. She really did, but there was just...so...so much she didn’t understand. So much that fascinated her. She tapped her fingers on the armrest anxiously. 

“S-so, how have you been?” she asked. 

Nico met her at eye-level, far too close as she gently tilted her chin up and began drawing quick strokes along her eyes. Her hand was warm against her cheek. “Please don’t talk unless you want me to stab your eyes out,” she whispered, focussed and indifferent to the way her low voice and warm breath on Karolina’s cheek was affecting her. Perhaps being stabbed in the eye by her stupid crush would not be the worst way to go, Karolina thought sullenly. 

“Were you always this antsy?” Nico mumbled, capping the lid on her eyeliner. “You’re lucky it’s an easy job today. You should really be doing this yourself, but then I’d be out of work, I guess.”

Why was Nico doing makeup anyway? Karolina wanted to ask. The Nico she knew had always been so excited to rule their parent’s tech empire together with her sister. But this Nico was so serious and intense—Karolina didn’t want Nico to be even more mad at her, so she stayed as still and silent as possible. It felt like she hated anything she did. Like she’d walk away if she breathed the wrong way. Karolina would’ve slumped in her chair, sulky and dejected, if Nico wasn’t pinning her in place with such sharp eyes. 

Finally, as Nico uncapped a tube of lipstick, she spoke again. “Listen, Karolina,” she said, eyes focussed on the lipstick as she fiddled with the dial, “I...I really didn’t want to see you again, but I took this job anyway. I kinda felt like I owed it to you to tell you that...um…” she paused for a long while to take several deep breaths. For a moment, a shy smile slipped past the facade, and there she was—the Nico she knew and...liked so much. Nico cleared her throat, however, and the moment was gone. “Uh, maybe I should finish doing your lips first.” 

Karolina didn’t have a moment to wonder what she was going to say. Her heart was hammering as Nico came close again, cradling her cheek in the gentlest way as she pressed the lipstick against her lips. Nico’s eyes were focussed on her lips, but Karolina could see every detail in her eyes. Even when they had their sleepovers, she’d never been this close. Between the smile and the gentle way she held her, Karolina couldn’t help but wonder how she would react if she reached up and kissed her right then and there. 

She inched up, as if something hazy, something magnetic, had taken over her thoughts, and touched the side of her face. The lipstick froze, lifted itself away. Nico moved closer, her eyes as stormy as the cloud that possessed Karolina. 

“Five minutes!” someone shouted in the background. 

Nico sprang back and quickly but carefully applied the rest of the lipstick at a distance. Karolina blinked, wondering if it had been a dream. It had to be a dream. There was no way that she  _ almost kissed the girl of her dreams _ . And Nico...she...she almost kissed  _ her _ . They almost kissed  _ each other _ . 

Nico cleared her throat, immediately halting the looped disbelief circling Karolina’s thoughts. “A-as I was saying earlier,” she said, gripping the vanity table behind her tightly. Her knuckles were almost white. “I...I know we’ve had our differences, I swear I’m not here to fight, but...you, um, you were my best friend and, um, I guess we were all good friends, so I—I’d like you to be there. If you want. You can, um, bring Xavin if you want.” She dug into her pocket and fished out a pale green envelope. 

Karolina opened it, and pulled out a card. “You are invited to the wedding of Nico Minoru and…” Karolina stopped, her heart in her throat. Alex Wilder. 

Nico rubbed her arm. “I know you don’t like it, but, he loves me, and he cares, so...there’s that. I don’t know. It’s...it was a matter of time.” 

Karolina didn’t know what to say. 

“D-don’t look at me with those eyes, Karolina. That’s not fair,” Nico said, shooting her a withering glare. “You always do this and it’s not—it’s not fucking fair, and you don’t have the right. You don’t have the right to talk shit about me and Alex, or to...to goddamn look at me like that! If you have something to say, then you should’ve said it years ago, because, fuck, I thought...god, maybe I shouldn’t even say this now.” 

Karolina, hands shaking in her lap, was too afraid to breathe.

Nico crossed her arms and chewed on her bottom lip. “Fuck it, I’ll just say it. For a long time,” she began bitterly, “I thought that maybe...maybe you were in love with me. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I thought, m-maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. But then you were making out with Chase, and going with whichever douche came along, and I thought maybe I was just imagining things. A-and maybe I was just that stupid, fucking cliche of crushing on her straight best friend. But, you know. Then Xavin came along and you chose  _ her  _ in a fucking heartbeat. The worst part was when you just fucking disappeared when Amy—whatever. You disappeared, and I moved on, so don’t fucking look at me with those big puppy eyes. Hate on Alex all you want, but he was there when you weren’t. For all of it. Because he wasn’t a fucking coward. So, yeah, I don’t know.” She rubbed her eyes with a thumb and forefinger. “I don’t want to hear it anymore. From anybody. So...come if you want. It’s tomorrow. Don’t feel like you have to.”

Karolina—who had been gripping her blanket as if it could protect her from the quiet fury in Nico’s voice, as if it could keep her from believing that somehow  _ everything _ was her fault—had never seen her best friend like this, especially when curses were dropping from Nico’s mouth like monsters hidden deep in the shadows. And yet...though she barely knew this version of Nico, there was something so familiar in the rawness of her words, something so familiar about the details in her expression that she could picture 13-year-old Nico yelling the exact same words, all the hurt dredged up from the depths of her core, standing there in her lilac dress, tears streaking down her face. But this Nico wasn’t crying, wasn’t yelling. This Nico simply left crescent craters in her arms, and looked exhausted. 

Her Nico—Karolina watched her with watery eyes, emotions bubbling, secretly making promises that she could not coherently express while the tears curled around her throat, prickly and painful. All she knew that if she could go back now, she’d tear open heaven and earth to save her from this. She couldn’t possibly let the silence and the secrets destroy them. 

Suddenly, a crowd of people buzzed around her, curtaining her off from Nico as she was turned out of her chair and ushered toward the shoot. As she walked away, someone tugged away her blanket, leaving her open and vulnerable. 

She shivered. 

How could this happen? She thought as she turned to see Nico bury her face in her hands. How could she have hurt her like this? 

Because she was...scared? 

Karolina couldn’t remember much of the photoshoot. She was cold, uncomfortable, awkward and voices were everywhere. She couldn’t remember when Chase had rescued her. All she remembered was sitting inside the black car, and him tucking her against his shoulder, his large hands resting warmly against her back as he spoke. “It’s not your fault, Karolina. Don’t give yourself so much credit. Really.” But she could barely hear him over the sound of her heart breaking. 

Helplessly, she wept, grieving—though she wouldn’t have known to call it that then—for everything. 

Chase walked her up to her apartment without a word. By then, Karolina was drained, homesick, and missed her mother more than anything. She mumbled, over and over again about wanting to see her mom, until Chase and Xavin could only look at each other knowingly from either side of the couch where Karolina had curled up. Xavin got up without a word, and disappeared into the kitchen. 

Roughly two hours later, Karolina woke up to the smell of fresh apple pie and her mother’s perfume, still the same all these years. She sat up, and, seeing her mother sitting at one end of the couch, threw her entire body against her mother in a big hug. 

“Oh, Karolina, what’s gotten into you?” Leslie said, chuckling as she wiped the tears from her daughter’s eyes with a thumb. For a moment, Karolina was stunned at the sight of her mother’s wrinkled face. Though her hair was still perfectly done, and her eyes just as bright, she was not prepared for how much  _ older _ her mother looked. Older, and yet, somehow, a little more carefree with her smile. 

“Mom,” Karolina mumbled, crushing her into another hug. “I missed you so much.” 

“I suppose it has been a while since I started travelling more. I missed you too, my darling. Very much.”

“Travelling? For fun?” Karolina managed to ask between hiccups. “What about the Ellerh Foundation?” 

Leslie raised a brow. “Chase  _ did _ say you had some kind of amnesia. I didn’t think it was this bad. We sold it a few years ago. You don’t remember?” She pulled Karolina back and examined her face. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” 

Karolina shook her head, then rubbed her eyes. “I’m fine. Where’s Chase?” 

“I sent him home. You’ve both had a long day.”

“Oh.”

Karolina dropped her eyes, feeling like the world had moved on without her, and she was left drowning in all the decisions she never made. They fell into silence for a long moment—Karolina hugging Leslie like it was the end of the world; Leslie rubbing little circles into her back, assuring her somehow, in her own way. 

Finally, Leslie nudged her daughter. “Well, then, do you want to tell me what happened and who made my sweet, precious daughter so sad? I’m not afraid to resort to bodily harm,” Leslie announced proudly. 

Karolina laughed. She’d never seen this side of her mother before, but she was much too heartbroken to complain. And perhaps it was partly exhaustion and partly this different, more forthcoming version of her mother, but Karolina found it easy to tell her story while curled up against her mother’s side, warm and safe. Of course, she made sure to leave out some details that she thought maybe even  _ this  _ Leslie would find too extreme. She blushed at the thought of the almost kiss she and Nico shared, a secret she would cherish for the rest of her life. No, her mother definitely didn’t need to know.

Leslie listened intently, nodding along. If she thought Karolina was even a shade too crazy, she didn’t comment. 

By the end, Karolina produced the crumpled wedding invitation from the pocket of her jeans, and Leslie’s expression softened. She shifted to meet her daughter’s eyes. Then, holding her hand and stroking her hair, she spoke: “My darling, I know that sometimes...things don’t always work out the way you want it to. And I know that sometimes people can’t always be who you want them to be. You’ve always been quite taken with Nico, you know. Do you remember when you cried for a full day because I said you couldn’t have any more sleepovers with Nico? You wouldn’t stop crying until Tina came over with one of Nico’s My Little Ponies, and  _ then _ you wouldn’t let go of it until I gave in and drove you to the Minoru’s the next day. Tina and I were exhausted! And do you remember when the Minorus were delayed at an airport for three hours and were late for your birthday party when you were turning seven? You refused to start the party until Nico arrived, and was determined to sit outside and wait for her so she could find you. You probably don’t remember, but we were starving, and I was worried sick that you’d catch a cold. I don’t know if you realize, darling, but you are the sweetest girl in the world until somebody tries to keep you apart from Nico. 

“My point is, I’ve always know how you felt about Nico. I may not have been the best mother, but I always tried to pay attention. I’d even discussed it once with Robert and Tina, but as you two got older, we’d sort of...forgotten. And since the car accident...Nico hasn’t been the same. I’m sure you know that better than anyone. Losing Amy was hard on everyone. We all lost a part of ourselves that night—Nico, most of all. We’ve all had to deal with that the best we can. Really, that’s all we can do when life throws curveballs at us. So, don’t cry, my darling,” Leslie said through a watery smile as she once more wiped the tears from Karolina’s cheeks. “You can’t turn back time, but Xavin loves you very much, and you’ve got a whole life ahead of you. It may not be the life little thirteen-year-old Karolina wanted, but let’s not dwell on the what-ifs, okay?” 

For a long moment, Karolina studied her mother’s face, then turned when Xavin entered the kitchen with a freshly-baked apple pie in both hands and a sheepish smile. She tried to return Xavin’s smile, but Xavin was a stranger to her. She didn’t know her. She didn’t really know anybody in this world, and while they were kind enough to listen and play along with her story, they were all characters in a life she had stolen. 

Maybe the real thirty-year-old Karolina could be happy with Xavin, but she...her heart still throbbed at the thought of losing Nico. And Amy—she couldn’t even process that information right now. 

Instead, Karolina silently got up and walked through the front door. 

She didn’t know where to go. She barely recognized the neighbourhood she lived in. All she knew at that moment was that she  _ really _ wanted some ice cream. Maybe that could make all of this go away. In truth, she was sleepy and emotionally drained, but the thought of going back to the apartment made her queasy. She marched forward, wrapping her arms around herself as she stomped down the unfamiliar streets in search of ice cream. 

She had been wandering for about an hour when she found herself on the curb of yet another unfamiliar neighbourhood, different only when apartments turned into houses, still craving the ice cream she didn’t bring any money to buy. Instead, she rested her arms on her knees, and sank her chin down on her arms, watching the sky change colours. Even the sky seemed brighter—different from what she remembered. 

She was thinking about how the sky looked the last time she looked up at it. It was the night of her party, when Gert was teasing her about her crush. It must’ve been just yesterday, but it felt like years ago after everything today. She kind of...missed how simple it was when all she worried about was her crush on Nico. 

Suddenly, a car pulled up in front of her. She shot up, alert and ready to run when the window rolled down and a woman with curly brown hair she did not recognize called her name. 

“Hey, Karolina! Is that you?” she said, waving and grinning excitedly. Karolina took a step backwards, and the girl frowned. “Aw, c’mon, has it been that long? You don’t recognize me? It’s Molly!” 

“ _ Molly _ ?” Karolina cried, nearly tripping backwards on the curb. “Molly...Hernandez?” It couldn’t be.

The last time Karolina had seen Molly, she was nine years old and begging her to play cops and robbers. Now she was driving a  _ car _ . And not just any car, she realized as Molly stepped out of the vehicle dressed in deep blue—an LAPD police car. She was a  _ real _ cop. 

“Oh my gosh, M-Molly, you’re so...big!” Karolina said. 

“Wow, what a nice thing to say to an old friend!” Molly laughed. “I know I’ve gained a bit of weight, but I catch a lot of bad guys to make up for it, y’know.” Karolina had to smile. Molly, it seemed, was as unchanging as the sun when it came to her optimistic personality. 

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m just super happy to see you.” 

“What are you doing out here, Karolina? You’re pretty far from home, no?” 

“Oh, um,” Karolina looked around, “I couldn’t sleep, I guess. You?” 

“I’m just heading home, but, more importantly, I don’t believe you.”

Molly hopped over—Karolina had never seen a police officer skip before, but Molly was never one to do anything that wasn’t so unapologetically  _ Molly _ . She reached behind Karolina and pulled the crumpled envelope from her back pocket. “Ah-hah!” she declared. “Nico invited you to her wedding, huh?” 

Karolina tried to laugh it off, but cringed when even the first syllable sounded fake. “Yes,” she admitted. 

Molly tilted her head. “You look so sad, but aren’t you getting married soon too?” 

“Uh, yeah...kinda. Well, the truth is...I’m thirteen. I time-travelled. I think,” she replied without thinking. Karolina covered her face with a hand. That sounded way more stupid than it did in her head. 

But Molly simply looked at her with her big, brown eyes, and said, “Oh, okay. That makes sense.” 

“R-really?” Never underestimate Molly, she reminded herself. 

Molly shrugged. “Stranger things can happen. Makes sense to me. More importantly,” she said, waving the green envelope in her hand, “are you going to go?” 

“I don’t know?” Karolina said honestly. “I kinda just want to eat some ice cream and go to bed.” 

“Oh, yeah, I definitely believe you now. I don’t think Karolina has had dairy for five years. Though I hear Xavin makes really good vegan pastries,” she said, laughing. “You know, it’s kind of hard to believe that when they met, Xavin thought the greatest American delicacy was Krispy Kreme and ketchup. Together.” Molly made a face. “Have you met Xavin?”

Karolina nodded. “She seemed nice.” 

“Yep,” Molly replied, popping her ‘p’. Seeing Karolina’s dejected expression, she reached up and pat her on the head. “You must be kinda weirded out by everything, huh?”   
  


Karolina nodded slowly. “I...I can’t believe we’re not friends anymore,” she said, breathing in deeply to fight the tears that threatened to return. “I mean all of us.” She whipped up to search Molly’s uncomfortable expression. “We’re still friends though, right, Mol?”

Molly pressed a finger to her chin, pretending, for a moment, to seriously consider the question. “I don’t know,” she said. 

Karolina deflated further. “I must’ve hurt your feelings too.”

“I’m just kidding!” Molly laughed, ruffling Karolina’s hair. “Of course we’re still friends! It’s one of the perks of being the token kid sister—you can never, ever get rid of me,” she added with a big, lopsided grin. 

Without another thought, Karolina wrapped her arms around Molly and squeezed her in a big, tight, hug.

“Okay, okay, I get it. You love me  _ so _ much. But you’re crushing me!”

“S-sorry,” she mumbled. She let her go hastily, then exchanged a big smile that seemed to make everything just a tiny bit easier. 

“So are you planning to sleep here?” Molly said, looking around. “Or, do you wanna crash with me tonight? Good ol’ fashioned sleepover? We can watch a movie and talk about kissing, if you want.” 

Karolina giggled. “A sleepover sounds nice, but maybe not the talking about kissing part. Maybe we can have ice cream?”

“Of course! Ice cream is a must!” Molly declared, pumping a fist. “Let‘s go! Oh, I gotta warn you, though, my boys can be a handful whenever I get visitors.” 

“B-boys?” 

Molly grinned. “You’ll see.” 

Molly’s house was modest, spacious, cozy, and Karolina loved it. It was just like being back in the Yorkes’ home: warm colours everywhere, papers and toys scattered throughout. They’d barely taken a step inside when three massive dogs rushed forward, wagging their tails furiously as they watched their human come in. 

She pointed at the dogs, three pitbulls, one by one: one black and white, one a solid light brown, and one deep brown with a white belly. “That’s Philly, Cheese, and Steak. Aren’t they cute? I named them myself. Pretty brilliant, huh?” She said, kneeling down to rub Philly behind the ear with a big grin. Feeling left out, Cheese and Steak quickly closed in to dish out their fair share of kisses. 

“Oh!” Karolina had never been so close to such big dogs before. “Yeah,” she said, shrinking back toward the door. 

“Aw, c’mon, Karolina, they’re really friendly!” As if on cue, Cheese broke off from the crowd and approached Karolina, tail wagging, eyes bright and curious as he stared at the new human. Slowly, Karolina kneeled to pet the dog on the head. Sensing that Cheese had begun monopolizing a human’s attention, however, Philly and Steak darted over, knocking her over and covering her in wet doggy kisses. 

Somewhere in the distance, laughter flowed freely, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Karolina felt it all melt away and, if only for a moment, the spark of joy, the spark of an unburdened childhood returned . 

Once the three dogs were placated and Karolina had happily received and devoured her strawberry ice cream, Molly led her to the guest room. On the way, however, Karolina noticed an open room, bright blue and full of clouds. There were plastic dinosaurs scattered all across the floor. Seeing Karolina’s confusion, Molly chuckled. “My daughter’s room,” she said simply. 

“Your daughter?” Karolina gasped. 

“Ah, right, time-traveller,” she said, shaking her head. “Well, yes. Alice. She’s with Dale and Stacey tonight, and I’m picking her up tomorrow. Maybe you’ll get to meet her.” 

Karolina followed Molly into the guest room, quietly taking a moment to wrap her head around the image of  _ Molly _ with a  _ daughter.  _ Baby Molly! “Woah,” she breathed, “um, how old is she?” After so many surprises, Karolina would have expected not to be so shocked by now, but Molly was the littlest. It’s so...strange to think about her as a  _ mother _ . 

“She’s three,” Molly said, grinning. “You were there when he was born, you know. I remember it was super tense when you and Xavin and Nico and Alex showed up all at the same time, but it was fine in the end. Man,” she exhaled, stretching the vowel as she bent backwards dramatically, “I sure hope your world isn’t as messy as this one. You big kids and all of your drama.” She laughed, shaking her head. 

“Yeah,” Karolina sighed, settling down on the bed with the weight of today’s adventures. “If I ever get to go back, I don’t ever want things to be so awkward.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find a way. Present Karolina would be pretty devastated if you just stole her life.” Karolina flinched when Molly echoed her exact thought. “Besides,” Molly continued, “you’re not meant to be here. And you’re probably not meant to be with Xavin. Not in your timeline anyway.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Maybe...Nico isn’t meant to be with Alex either.” 

“I...I don’t care anymore,” Karolina sighed, falling back across the bed. “I just want to get out of this stupid, perfect body,” she tugged at her shirt for emphasis, “and this stupid life and go home. I just want to be thirteen again so I can worry about my science project and stupid stuff like that.” 

Molly patted the bed. “Alright, let’s get some rest. I’m going to call Stacey and tell her I’ll pick Alice up in the afternoon. Tomorrow? You and I have a wedding to crash.” 

“W-wait, what? Molly, I don’t—”

But Molly simply shushed her, told her to go to bed like  _ she _ was the nine-year-old, and left. 

Tomorrow...they were...going to...crash...a wedding? 


	3. Chapter 3

She had expected to be kept up by the day’s revelations, and tomorrow’s impending disaster, but, fortunately, the day had completely overwhelmed her, and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep within moments of hitting the pillow. 

“Rise and shine, cadet!” 

Sunlight suddenly spilled through the curtains—Karolina flinched, groaned, and rolled over. “Five more minutes, Mom,” she mumbled. 

Next, her blankets were torn off her body—she curled up immediately, shivering. “Nuh, uh! Mrs. Dean isn’t here to save you this time, Karolina! C’mon, let’s go, let’s go! We have a wedding to crash!” 

“Molly?” Karolina croaked, lifting her head to see a woman’s silhouette standing at the foot of her bed with arms akimbo. Darn it, she fell back onto her pillow. Still stuck in this awful nightmare. “I don’t wanna crash a wedding.” 

A sentence she never thought she would say, no matter how many romantic comedies Gert made her watch ironically. The movies always made it so perfect and fun, but, remembering Nico’s expression as she walked away yesterday, there was no way this could go well. No, she really didn’t want to crash a wedding, no matter how horrible this wedding was. 

“Yes, you do, now let’s go!” 

Karolina wasn’t fully awake until she was sitting in the passenger seat of Molly’s police car, rubbing her eyes in response to the mid-morning sun. Even then, she wasn’t  _ truly _ awake until Molly sent the car  _ hurtling _ down the street at way-too-fast miles per hour. 

“M-Molly! Slow down!” The sleepy neighbourhood had wide enough streets to accommodate any sharp turns, but when they’d abruptly swerved around a car backing out of a driveway, Karolina immediately grabbed the handle above her head. “Please.” 

She did  _ not _ want to die in this life that wasn’t even hers. In a life where none of her friends were around anymore. Where  _ Nico _ wasn’t her friend anymore. 

But if Molly could read the apprehension on her face, she chose to ignore it. “No can do!” she said. “We’re late enough as it is. At this rate, we’ll probably make it just as they’re giving their vows! Just kidding. What is this, a movie? Seriously, though, we’re going to be late.” She glanced over at Karolina before turning back to the road. “Relax! I’m a professional. I’ll get you to that wedding safe and sound.”

“M-Molly, I don’t want to—” Karolina yelped when a car suddenly stuck its nose out too far past the stop sign, seeming way too close to the passenger side when they bolted by. She shrank down in her seat, clutching her seatbelt with both hands, her thoughts vanishing in the face of Molly’s solo high speed chase. 

Fortunately, they were later choked up at a poorly designed intersection, giving Karolina a moment to roll down the windows and breathe in some fresh air. 

“I hope we’re not too late,” Molly mumbled as she fiddled with the phone sitting in a claw clipped to the vent. “Maybe we can check in with Gert and see if they started yet. Weddings are usually late right?” 

Karolina didn’t answer, feeling mostly like she was about to throw up out the window. 

“Karolina,” Molly said, suddenly serious. 

With great difficulty, she peeled her eyes off the traffic and stiffly turned to look at Molly’s profile. “Y-yeah?” 

“This is what you want, right?” 

Karolina glanced at the road, then back at Molly. “I don’t want to die. Is that what you’re asking?”

“No,” Molly laughed in such a breezy, callous way that she must’ve thought Karolina was joking. “I’m talking about the wedding, silly. Sheesh, you’re not going to die.”

“Oh...um, I guess not? I-I don’t like the idea of Nico marrying Alex, but I—”

“How come?”

Karolina flushed. “Y-you know why!” 

“Of course  _ I  _ know,” Molly said, shaking her head. “But I don’t think you’ve ever admitted it out loud before. Not even when you’re thirty. So, just tell me. Be brave, Karolina.”

Karolina bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes darting nervously between Molly and the traffic ahead. She’d called a stupid crush so many times in her head, but...Molly was right. How could she admit something so sacred, so strange, and so...scary? “Because I…” Her lungs squeezed against her ribcage. 

Molly waited patiently. 

“I…”

The cars in front were barely moving. It was so hot. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky today, and the sun seemed to want to swallow her whole. Karolina closed her eyes and tried to focus on the words that she’d been afraid to say for so long. 

“Because I like her. I like Nico. Maybe, I even love her. I don’t know.” 

Grimacing slightly, she thought she was going to drown as soon as the words finally made it through her lips, but Molly’s smile was warm, knowing, and safe in the same way her mother’s perfume made her feel safe. Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult to return that smile. She exhaled deeply, feeling...herself for the first time in a long time. 

“Wasn’t that hard, was it? Deep down, I think you know.” 

“Maybe.” 

“Well, are you ready to stop this wedding now?” 

Karolina shook her head, the excitement of her admission building into something akin to determination. If she were stuck in this world, then she had to do the right thing. The traffic was finally easing up at this point. Quietly, she asked Molly to pull over. 

Minutes later, Molly had turned off the engine with a raised brow. “Well?” 

“I won’t do it,” Karolina said, rubbing her eyes as the tears prickled once more. “I...lied and I hurt her. I-I mean, I don’t know what happened, but I...I was cowardly and selfish, and I want Nico to be happy. I want to be her friend, but...she doesn’t smile at me anymore, so...so I can’t make her happy. If I could go home and do it all over again, maybe I could. But if I’m stuck here,” she breathed in, chest and lips quivering, “I’ll make it work. I don’t know how, but I will. I just know that stopping that wedding is wrong.” 

Molly whistled, then stretched out an arm to ruffle Karolina’s hair again. “Well, I guess we have no choice, then.” Karolina looked up in confusion, sniffling and blinking back the tears as best she could. 

“Let’s get you home, Karolina.”

Molly reached for the glove compartment, and tugged it open.

A pink cloud of glittery dust flew out and into Karolina’s face. Before she could shriek, before she could put her arms up to defend herself, she blacked out. 

—

Karolina awoke on the dusty floor of Alex’s closet, her back stiff, and her arms and legs limp. 

How long had she been asleep? She wondered, shaking her limbs awake. 

Wait. 

She looked down at the white skirt and her pale skin, then ran a hand across the familiar braid. She rocketed up into a standing position, ignoring the weakness and prickliness of her limbs as she pressed a hand against the shelf. 

She was home! In her own body!

Just then, the closet door opened and in stepped Chase. Small, skinny, pink-faced, bewildered Chase. Karolina rushed forward to hug him. 

“Chase! It’s you!” She cried. “I had the weirdest dream where you were taller than me and had  _ muscles _ and drank beer and stuff—”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Chase said peeling her arms back with a nervous, deer-in-the-headlights expression. “You were...dreaming about me?” 

“Well you were  _ in _ my dream.”

“That’s the same thing,” he replied with a grin that he must’ve hoped was flirty and smooth. Karolina sighed and crossed her arms, but the sight of him trying to be cool again brought a smile to her face. 

“Chase, I know why you came in.” 

“Oh?” He stepped a little closer, brow lifting. “So…”

Karolina shook her head and pushed him back by the arms. “You don’t like me, Chase.” 

“Wha—what do you mean? Of course I like you!”

“Well, the person you’re meant to be with isn’t me. It’s someone else. And when you get older, you’ll feel like this person is too smart for you. But when the time comes, don’t be a chicken, okay?”

Chase furrowed his brows in that way that made him look like his father. “What are you talking about? I like  _ you _ , Karolina. And you like me, don’t you?” 

Karolina shook her head. “You’ll always be my friend, Chase, but the person I like is...it’s Nico.”

“ _ What _ ? But she’s a—”

Just then, the closet door swung open once more and the bedroom lights blinded the two of them. Gert’s shadow filled the room. “What are you two doing in here?” She snapped. 

But Karolina was so happy to see her that she brushed off the anger in her tone, and practically leapt forward to engulf her in a hug. “Gert!” She cried. “I missed you so much!”

Gert’s entire body went stiff. “Uh, what is happening right now?”

“I can’t explain it to you right now,” Karolina whispered into her ear, “but if you like someone, don’t pretend you don’t, okay? And be nice to him once in a while. He’s a good person. He just needs some time to grow up and realize how cool you are.”

“Karolina,” Gert whispered back, blushing furiously in spite of her confusion, “y-you’re being super weird.” 

Karolina pulled back from the hug, smiling widely. “Just trust me, Gert,” she declared. Then, staring directly at Nico with a sudden confidence she didn’t know she possessed, she walked over in three long strides and took her hand. “I need to talk to you.” 

Nico nodded stiffly, then looked over at the mirrored confusion on her friends’ faces. All except Chase, who was watching her intensely. “Well, Alex,” she heard Gert say as she was pulled out of the room, “if what I think is happening,  _ is _ happening, then I’m afraid you have no chance, bud.”

But what  _ was _ happening? She wondered as Karolina tugged her from the bedroom to the front door, then across the lawn. She’d never seen Karolina like this, so focused, intense, assertive, and it was scaring her. “Hey,” she said once they were outside, “is something wrong?” 

No response. It was dark now, and it was getting a bit chilly outside. The moon, however, shone brightly above them. Nico could barely keep up with Karolina’s longer legs. 

“Hey, Karolina, talk to me. Are you okay?”

Finally, Karolina stopped in the middle of the Wilders’ estate, the guest house a brightly lit block a ways away. Not letting go of her hand, Karolina turned. Her stare was so intense and so  _ blue _ in the moonlight that Nico found herself transfixed. Absentmindedly, Nico wondered whether Karolina knew how beautiful she was. 

Karolina, however, felt like jelly. Her hands were clammy, and her insides squirmed. This was it. Now or never. But the fear clawed her back by the arms—fear of the future, where they’d fallen apart; fear of the present, where things could change forever. There was so little certainty in the future, so little faith, and yet Karolina stood at the edge of a precipice, knowing that those imploring brown eyes were all she wanted. 

But at what cost? Their friendship was everything to Karolina, and to bring up her love now—for in this moment, her mind didn’t have the energy to pretend it wasn’t  _ love _ she was looking for, and, without realizing, allowed the word to take shape in her clear, blue eyes—could cost her everything. 

Perhaps Nico look at her differently. Perhaps she would run away, find her comfort somewhere else. But this was Nico. 

“Karolina?” Nico tightened her grip, her free hand coming up, tentatively touching her elbow, brows furrowing with concern.

Karolina sucked in a breath—she had to be brave. “Nico, can you promise me that we’d always be friends no matter what?”

Nico blinked, as if she didn’t quite understand the question. “Yeah, of course. Where is this coming from?” Karolina searched her face. Nico shrank back. “You’re being kinda scary, Karolina.”

The night was so still; the moon so bright. And in the middle of it all, Karolina felt perfectly calm. 

She rubbed a thumb gently against the back of Nico’s hand. “Even if I told you that I liked you?”

Nico stared, her lips pulling up in a nervous smile. Karolina wondered if her heart was racing as much as her own. A puff of laughter floated up in the air and dissipated. Nico chewed her lower lip. 

When words seemed to failed them both, Karolina unlaced her fingers from Nico’s, and reached up to touch her cheek. The smile faded from Nico’s face, but her eyes held Karolina’s, her expression torn between curious, confused, and concerned. Beneath it all, however, was trust. She didn’t move when Karolina brushed her hair back. Didn’t move when she stepped closer. She simply watched the emotions play out across Karolina’s face and waited. 

Karolina leaned down and pressed her lips against Nico’s. It was only a second, but enough, she hoped as she stepped back, for her to understand. 

Her eyes dropped to the grass swaying in the moonlight by her feet. “I’ve liked you for a long time, Nico. Not just as a friend, but...more. Y-you don’t have to like me back,” she hurriedly added, flashing a sheepish smile, “I just...wanted you to know, and, really, you’re too important to me, so...I hope that’s okay.”

Nico’s cheeks were flushed pink when she touched her lips. For a very long thirty seconds, she simply stared with her wide eyes, studying, contemplating. The evening breeze rustled through her hair and her dress. She smelled vaguely like honeydew. 

Karolina fidgeted with the hem of her shirt while she waited, wishing desperately to know what was going through her head. 

Then, Nico took a step forward, and pressed both palms onto the curve of Karolina’s shoulders, tiptoeing slightly to return the chaste kiss to her slightly parted lips. 

“N-Nico?”

“Listen,” Nico murmured, looking away to slowly, almost reluctantly, drop her hands from her shoulders, “I don't know much about this stuff, but you’re...you’re very special to me, so...yeah.” 

“S-so, you’re okay if I like you?” Karolina asked, her heart swelling. 

Nico nodded shyly. 

Karolina could barely contain her smile. “Then, um, can I hold your hand again?” 

In response, Nico slid her fingers between Karolina’s, locking them snugly, like perfect pieces snapping together. “Is this okay?” She asked. 

“Yeah. Perfect,” Karolina whispered. 

Nico fidgeted, her cheeks pink. “Okay.” 

Karolina flashed a small smile. “Do you...um...is this okay? With me?” 

Nico nodded. “I think so...you’re, um, warm and this...this is nice,” she said, blushing as her voice tapered off. “This is really embarrassing for some reason. I feel kind of funny.” She paused, then looked up into Karolina’s eyes. “Does your heart always beat this fast?”

“Only when you’re around,” she replied with a sheepish grin. 

“Oh. Wow.” 

They both cringed at how cheesy that sounded, but instead of teasing her, Nico seemed partly thoughtful and partly close to tears when she sighed and shuffled forward to rest her forehead onto Karolina’s shoulder. “It’s a little scary...and you had to deal with all of this by yourself. I feel like a bad friend for making you do that. I guess...I’m kind of stupid about all of this.”

Karolina shook her head, then gently poked Nico on the cheek with her free hand. “You’re not stupid. And I’m okay. It’s okay, Nico, I’m just...really, really happy we can figure it out together now.”

Nico lifted her head and grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Karolina said, swinging their hands and returning her grin. “Do you want to go back now?” 

Nico tugged their hands closer together and sidled up into Karolina’s side as they turned to make their way back to the house. “Okay.”

“Okay.” 

For Karolina, it was no different from all the other times she had clung to her, and yet the air had shifted around them. Elevated somehow, as if she had conquered the precipice and adapted to the way the air flowed through her at dizzying heights. 

Though there were words that still eluded them and worlds they’ve yet to explore, nothing else seemed to matter as they strolled back toward their waiting friends, Karolina’s head against Nico’s, as if they were the only two people in the world, her chest rumbling with a different kind of happiness she’d never felt before. And though she knew there were a lot more to say, a lot more battles to fight, and a lot more fears to face—though she knew this was only the threshold to a world she could not yet fully grasp—they were both going to be okay. 

This was exactly where she was meant to be.

Right here. 

Right now. 

On the night of the best birthday ever. 


	4. Epilogue

It was a sunny, Friday morning, and Karolina had woken up early as usual. She was tucked into the corner of her breakfast nook, on a bench padded with seafoam coloured cushions against their bay window. The sun warmed her back through peach-tinted curtains as she flipped a page to her novel, sipping at her mug of fresh coffee. Beside her, a bowl of fresh strawberries she enjoyed every few pages. At the sound of heavy footsteps thumping downstairs, she replaced the mug on the saucer and pushed a second mug of coffee across the table to the empty seat beside her. 

Karolina looked up and smiled when Nico ambled into the room, yawning. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she said. 

Nico grunted, half-dragging herself toward Karolina despite the black linen suit and meticulously ironned ruffled shirt she wore. It never ceased to amaze Karolina how adept she was at getting ready in the morning despite her inability to function in all other aspects. Nico slid onto the bench beside Karolina, and dropped her head against her shoulder. 

Karolina kissed the top of her head, then went back to her book. 

“Coffee,” Nico mumbled. Karolina gestured to the mug and the fresh omelette she had prepared just before she’d settled into the nook, then flipped a page. 

Nico extended an arm forward, but, unable to reach the mug, dropped her arm and whined, “Karolina.”

Karolina laughed. “Here,” she said, picking up a strawberry and holding it to Nico’s lips, “eat this first, you little baby.” 

Nico swung her head dramatically from side to side. “Coffee,” she demanded. 

“Alright, alright,” Karolina replied. She plucked the mug from the table and pressed it into Nico’s awaiting hands. Nico took a good, long sip, and moaned, throwing her head back onto Karolina’s shoulder. Karolina chuckled, then took a bite out of the rejected strawberry. 

“Strawberry,” Nico said, rolling back slightly and opening her mouth. 

“I’m not penguin-feeding you,” Karolina laughed. “Here.” She plucked the green leaves off the half-eaten strawberry, then popped it into Nico’s awaiting mouth. Once she’d safely chewed and swallowed the fruit, Karolina leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips. She tasted sweet and so perfectly Nico.

Nico hummed happily, then placed a hand on Karolina’s stomach, turning slightly before gently demanding, “More kisses, please.” 

Karolina turned back to her book. “Hmm, maybe I spoil you too much.” 

“Karolina-a-a,” Nico whined again, tugging at her shirt. “More kisses.” 

“Why can’t I say no to you?” She sighed, lifting her chin to kiss her tenderly. 

Nico broke the kiss just long enough to place her mug on the table, then pressed her lips back against Karolina’s, her legs shifting to straddle her lap. “You love me too much,” she mumbled, suckling lightly on her bottom lip. 

Karolina dropped her book, her hands sliding up along Nico’s back and across her shoulders instead. “I love you just enough,” she replied with breathless chuckle. She pushed her back slightly, resting her hands on Nico’s hips as she looked up into her dark eyes with a tilt of her head. “Don’t you have a board meeting today?” 

Nico peeled back her sleeve to glance at her watch—Karolina’s anniversary present to her last year—and groaned. “Amy’s going to kill me if I’m late again.” 

Karolina raised a brow. “Then?” 

Reluctantly, she slid off of Karolina’s lap and back into her own seat, so she could stare dejectedly at the omelette as she ate. “Are you going in to help Mom out today?” Nico asked. Even years later, it still delighted Karolina to no end whenever she referred to Leslie as ‘Mom’. Leslie, herself, as she learned shortly after high school, couldn’t be more pleased, having already spent the years prior secretly thinking of Nico as her daughter-in-law. The idea that her mother had been secretly cheering them on since childhood was still one that Karolina could _not_ wrap her head around. She wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t prophetically dreamt up Leslie’s support all those years ago. 

“No, I think she’s flying. Besides, I think I need to take a break from the paperwork on my desk before I go crazy. The project hasn’t even officially launched yet, and I’ve got a mountain of proposals to consider.” 

“Anything fun planned while I slave away in the corporate world?” 

Karolina held up a hand, and began listing today’s plans on her fingers. “Gotta get the dry-cleaning done, get the car washed, call the Internet company, send Mom the new details about our shelter project...am I missing anything? Oh, I did make plans to have lunch with Gert. After that, I think I’ll be free to wait for you at home. Maybe I’ll finally dig up those weeds in the garden.” 

“Gert?” Nico took another sip of coffee, then cut into her eggs with the side of her fork. “That’s awesome. I miss her. Haven’t seen her in awhile.” 

“Yeah, can you believe we used to see each other every day for, like, 18 years?”

“Let’s not dwell on _those_ years,” Nico said, between mouthfuls.

“It wasn’t all bad,” Karolina replied, sipping from her own mug. 

“We only broke up every other day,” Nico said, rolling her eyes. 

“We broke up, like, three times. We were young, insecure, and disgustingly in love even when we weren’t speaking to each other,” she said wistfully. Karolina laid back and closed her eyes with a sigh. They lapsed into a comfortable silence as Nico ate, until Karolina found the memories rolling out from her lips. “It’s funny,” she whispered, tapping on the table anxiously, “when I was thirteen and I saw that horrible future, I thought I’d know exactly how I would ‘fix’ everything. When we still fought and still broke up, when Xavin showed up as my roommate and Amy still got caught up in that accident—I was so scared that I’d still messed everything up somehow, y’know?”

“Hey,” Nico said, putting down her fork to rub her shoulder gently. “It’s okay. Amy was fine, remember? _You_ were the one who took care of her when her arm was in a sling. She was being _such_ a diva about it. I would’ve broken her other arm if she I had to listen to her recount her heroic tale of survival every day, but you powered through.” 

Karolina leaned forward to lay her head on Nico’s shoulder. “Yeah. I’m glad it all worked out in the end.”

“Yeah. Me too. I mean, otherwise I’d have to marry Alex. Livvie would be pissed.”

Karolina lifted her head and gave Nico a pointed look. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Alright, alright,” Nico mumbled, planting a brief kiss on her temple. “Either way, we should get the gang back together sometime.” 

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Oh hey, before I forget, can you pick something up for me, too? It’s probably going to be a bit hectic today, and,” Nico said, leaning slightly against Karolina, “I’m coming home on time even if it kills me. I’m _not_ missing our dinner tonight.” 

She dropped a palm to Karolina’s knee, the cool metal of the silver band against her skin a welcome reminder of how far they’d come. As the sunshine flooded between them to warm her knee, the red stone on her finger seemed to glow from a fire within.

Karolina gazed at the ring she’d put on that finger two years ago and wondered whether her thirteen-year-old self could’ve imagined a life like this, where _this_ was her every day. 

She wondered, in case that time had not been a dream, if the other Karolina felt the same way about Xavin. The same little surges of happiness that came with the everyday—eating together, washing dishes together, standing in the bathroom together, curling up on the couch together after a long day. No matter what, she hoped the other Karolina would be as happy as she was now. 

“Karolina?” 

Karolina shook her head, flashing an embarrassed half-smile as she laid her own hand on Nico’s. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how nice that ring looks on you.”

“Thanks,” Nico said, turning her palm up to thread their fingers together. “Two years ago— today, actually—some weirdo gave it to me at a church. It’s pretty sweet, right?” 

“That’s funny—the same thing happened to me.” Karolina said, holding up her free hand to show off her ring. It was a white stone, filled with swirling blues, purples, and pinks whenever the light caught it at the right angle, set into four little golden claws and a silver band. “She was cute, so I kept it.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Nico laughed, leaning over to give her another kiss on the lips. Karolina’s eyes fluttered closed as she squeezed her hand and responded to the slow, sensuous touch. She would’ve pushed her down across the bench had Nico’s watch not caught the sunlight as she threaded her free hand through Karolina’s hair. “Dammit,” Nico mumbled, “It’s already nine.”

With a sigh, she reluctantly untangled herself from Karolina. “Okay, now I really gotta go, or I’m going to be late,” she mumbled. “To be continued?” 

“Guess we have no choice,” Karolina said, throwing herself backwards dramatically. “To be continued.” 

Nico offered a sympathetic smile, then slid out of the nook, grabbing one more strawberry on her way out. Like clockwork every morning, Karolina stood to follow Nico into the hallway, where Nico grabbed her purse and her set of keys from a rather ugly, striped ceramic bowl they made at a couples pottery class several years back. “I’m going to take the Rolls since I’m picking up Alex on the way, and I can’t hear him talk about work when roof comes down.” 

“You’re the one who hired him,” Karolina said, watching with her hands in the back pocket of her shorts while Nico pull on her shoes. “Alex— _the_ computer guy in our ragtag team—consulting at _the_ biggest technology company in the world. You knew what you were getting into.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nico replied, pulling on her coat. “Can’t be mad at somebody for loving his job _too_ much.” 

“Just remember to put the roof back. I don't want any trouble or dust gathering up there. Oh, hold on, babe.” Karolina tugged Nico back by the sleeve, turning her around just as she was about to open the door. She slid her hands up into her collar to straighten it out, then smoothed out the shoulders of her blazer. “Perfect.” 

“I love you,” Nico said, grinning. 

Karolina mouthed the words back, as easily as if she’d done this every day for their entire lives. Nico stepped out the door, but before she was fully past the threshold, she turned. “See you at home tonight before dinner?” 

“I’ll be waiting,” Karolina replied, leaning against the door frame as she waved. 

Two steps later, Nico turned around again. “Oh shit, almost forgot!” she cried, rushing back to give Karolina a peck on the lips. “Happy anniversary, babe!” 

Karolina laughed as Nico flashed her one last smile, then hurried into the car. 

“Happy anniversary, Nico.” 

After a whirlwind morning of crossing off her to-do list, Karolina pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head as she strolled into the restaurant. It was a quarter to twelve, and the maitre d’ greeted her with a smile, then led her to one of the empty tables along the balcony. She thanked him, then took a seat, looking out into the dotted green foliage among the cityscape below. While she waited, she wrote a quick email to her mother, then fiddled around, carefully combing through and selecting the perfect cat picture to share with Nico. 

Nico responded almost immediately with a cactus emoji—Karolina had to bite her lip from laughing out loud at the image of Nico fiddling with her phone from under the boardroom table like they were in high school all over again. She must’ve been bored, or she wouldn’t bother, Karolina mused. She knew better than anyone that the tech princess hated social media and every bit of nonsense that came with it, finding it confusing, unnecessary, and hard to keep up with. As two people who featured prominently across platforms, the less they knew, the happier they were—especially Nico, who fiercely valued her privacy. Even Karolina, who managed their joint Instagram account as best she could, found it difficult to keep up with everything at times. Why millions of people looked forward to seeing pictures of their faces squished close together was beyond her, but it seemed to make people happy. 

So, while Karolina handled the PR, Nico stubbornly stuck with email and texting, making an exception for 21st century social nonsense only for the emoji keyboard. There was nothing she loved more than a good non sequitur. 

Karolina sent her a kissing face. Nico responded several moments later with a Moai head. Karolina shook her head with a smile—at least it wasn’t a sword or dagger for once. 

She texted Nico back and forth until Gert arrived at five past twelve, looking haggard as she sank down into the seat in front of Karolina. “Sorry, I’m late,” she said. “I’m starving! Can we order first, then exchange our pleasantries?”

“Nice to see you too, Gert,” she said, smiling. She handed over the menu, then caught the eye of a passing waiter, knowing it would take about half a second for Gert to decide what she wanted, then another minute to process all the questions she would inevitably have about the food. Once they interrogated the waiter and placed the order—Karolina remembering at the last second to order a pumpkin risotto for Nico later—they turned back to each other with wide smiles. 

“I like what you did with your hair. Blue looks good on you,” Karolina said, propping up her chin with an elbow against her armrest. 

“Thanks,” Gert replied, fingering a tuft of hair. “It’s long now, isn’t it? I’m thinking about cutting it again, but I just don’t have the energy to go looking for a salon that isn’t awful, you know what I mean? That apprehension of entrusting another human person you don’t know with a pair of scissors is too much.” 

Karolina shrugged. “You could trim it yourself. I do my own bangs sometimes.” 

“Oh c’mon,” Gert said, crossing her arms. “ _The_ Karolina Minoru-Dean cuts her own hair? Get out. I don’t believe you.” 

“Just a little bit! I’m not paying a hundred bucks to trim off, like, half an inch,” she insisted. 

“You and Nico, like, _own_ this side of California, you know that? Or, are you two still too busy staring into each other’s eyes to notice the world around you?” Gert laughed. 

“A-as if you’re any better with Chase!” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Gert said, wagging a finger. Karolina knew where this was going. “Let me tell you, my dear, sweet Karolina, about the trials and tribulations of motherhood.” Karolina sighed. “As a woman who has literally ripped a child out of her own body through the miracle of childbirth, I have been confined to my station, and will be for the next several months of maternity leave, because society has decided that a woman must _be_ with this child while the male figurehead brings home the bread. While I _do_ , shamefully and against all my strongly-held beliefs, agree with this notion because I love my baby, I am _too tired_ of seeing her stinky little face every day. I can’t even _think_ about Chase sometimes, unless it’s along the lines of ‘when will he come home so I can take a nap.’” 

“At least he kept his word and is helping out,” Karolina said with a sympathetic half-smile. 

“Oh, he is _really_ good with Lacey,” Gert admitted with a happy sigh. “Who knew that goofball would grow up to be such a good partner and father? Also, who knew how adorable it would be to watch him carry a tiny baby on his shoulder? You know those calendars with the shirtless firefighters carrying puppies? I think I can finally understand the appeal.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind for your next birthday.”

The food then arrived, pausing the conversation for a moment until the waiter bowed and left. Gert dug into her vegan rice bowl immediately, expressing once again how starved she was after spending an entire morning trying to get her daughter to eat something _other_ than dinosaur nuggets. “How my kid ended up being a top-tier, gold-star, queen-of-queens carnivore is beyond me,” she complained between mouthfuls. “It’s literally made of ambiguous ‘chicken’ by-products, shaped like said animal's ancestors. This is definitely Chase’s fault.” 

“Maybe she can take after you in other ways. Like, I don’t know, maybe she’ll perform the Vagina Monologues in her elementary school talent show someday.”

“Yes!” Gert exclaimed, pointing at Karolina emphatically. “Yes! Damn. I better start looking at schools that will appreciate my baby’s genius then.”

Karolina took a languid sip of her wine as they continued to chat about Gert’s passionate feelings about the current state of education. At the next lull, Karolina piped up and said, “Hey, are you two are still determined not to get married? Do schools care about that?” 

“Nah, we’re still a boring, white-, cis- hetero-passing family. Actually sucks sometimes because the world is garbage and schools _want_ tokenism so people can stroke their dicks and tell them what _amazing_ diversity they have,” Gert said matter-of-factly as she waved her fork around. Karolina cringed. 

“As for marriage, I personally don’t really care for the symbolism and the transaction and all that ceremonial bullshit. I don’t think we need anything like that, you know? I love him, and he loves me, and I think it’s fine. Anyway, we talked about it a while ago, and I think we’re on the same page. Victor and Janet probably care the most—certainly more than _my_ weirdo parents—but I don’t know. We’re us, and I think that’s beautiful enough.” 

Karolina hummed and nodded. “I agree. I just think...Chase has always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, y‘know?”

“Must be why you’ve been such good friends over the years,” Gert teased. “But don’t worry. Trust me, I _know_. I was actually thinking that it would make him happy to have a commitment ceremony of some kind. Maybe when Lacey gets a bit bigger?” 

“Yeah, that might be nice. I bet he’d be pretty excited to plan something like that.”

“Thank God,” Gert said, reaching for her glass of water. “So, what about you and Nico? It’s been two years since you succumbed to capitalism and got yourselves some expensive, fancy jewelry to officially flaunt your love to the world. Any plans to, ahem, merge the Minoru and Dean enterprises to create a new _product_?” 

Karolina, who had been focused on twirling her spaghetti into a perfect ball, nearly dropped her fork. “Gert,” she groaned, “that makes it sound like you’re asking when our parents are getting together to make a baby.” 

Gert gasped. “How dare you? I’d never implicate Leslie and Tina like that.” 

“What? Why would your first thought be my mom and _Tina_?”

“I just don’t see it with Robert,” she replied with a half shrug.

“ _Anyway_ . _That_ mental image aside, I think it will be a while before even consider anything like that. Nico just started taking on more responsibilities at WizTech and Mom and I have a couple new projects in the works, so I don’t know. We were considering getting a dog for a while, but even that seemed like too much of a commitment right now.” 

“Yeah, you two have to take over the world for womankind, after all,” Gert said, nodding thoughtfully. She leaned back then, watching Karolina steadily. “Maybe...I was just thinking selfishly in thinking it would be pretty nice for Lacey to have more friends growing up. Just like us, y’know? Plus, doesn’t the image of your partner holding a baby just make your heart warm? Or, like, super horny?” 

“Gert!” 

“I’m not wrong though!” 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult to imagine Nico cradling a bundle with fluffy hair and pink cheeks, smiling and laughing as she blew kisses at the baby’s face. “You’re not wrong,” Karolina conceded. 

“So?” 

Karolina sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to. We’re just...so busy. We haven’t even talked about it.”

Gert shrugged. “You make time for what’s important, right? I guess when you’ll know it’s time.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Soon. I hope.”

Would Nico want to be a mother? They had been so swept up by each other and by their careers that there never seemed to be a moment to discuss the idea. Karolina herself had toyed with the idea over the years, and had hoped they would come to a solid decision once they got older. 

So why haven’t they? Did everything else just take priority? Did they somehow get so distracted by the everyday and the mundane that they just _forgot_?

Karolina blinked when she felt a warm hand on her arm. Looking up, Gert was smiling. “Don’t worry so much. Whatever happens, you and Nico will be alright. Let’s talk about something else, hey?”

“Sorry, it just got thinking,” Karolina replies with a sheepish smile.

”Hey, did I tell you about the most bizarre thing? You know that dream you told us about when we were, what? Thirteen? Fourteen?” 

“Mmhmm?” Karolina picked up her fork again and salvaged her ball of spaghetti. Her mood lifting, she took a bite. 

“You said that Chase and I never dated, and we went our separate ways, right?” Gert said, leaning in like she were sharing a secret. “You also said that I was dating a guy named Earl? I remembered this because I thought it was so strangely specific, but you told us that I went to the farmer’s market every Sunday with my boyfriend named Earl.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t even really know what a farmer’s market was back then,” Karolina chuckled. 

Gert’s eyes shone. “Well, here’s the weird thing. I was _at_ the farmer’s market last Sunday with Chase and Lacey, and I met a guy there with a cool hipster beard. He was buying artisanal cheeses and I was giving him some recommendations and, then I found out, and I couldn’t believe it...his name was _Earl_. Said he goes every Sunday.”

“Wow.” Karolina would have probably been more shocked if other parts of her parallel future had not already intersected her life at various points. As it were, she simply nodded and twirled another forkful of spaghetti against her spoon. “That could’ve been your life.”

“Yeah, imagine how different life would be if I hadn’t kicked Chase’s ass for standing me up to party with those asshole lacrosse guys.” 

“You were pretty hot and cold with him. Just saying.”

“Well, he was an idiot.”

“It’s hard to argue after some of the things he did.” Karolina laughed. “But, I did warn you to be nice to him when the time comes. I _also_ warned you about the lacrosse.” 

“Alright, alright, you’re an alien who can see the future,” Gert grumbled. 

“And yet I was still as surprised as you were. I mean, I’d confessed to Nico thinking we’d live happily ever forever, but...there was so much bad stuff too, y‘know? Like, Nico and I basically broke up at least once a year.”

Gert cringed. “God, yeah, those were some pretty brutal heartbreaks. Remember when she caught you making out with some chick in the Latin section? And how hella awkward it was for all of us? It was like the Cold War all over again.” 

“Because we were all so comfortable when you and Chase argued every lunch hour,” Karolina countered with a raised brow. “I think I ended up eating with a random group of church kids for, like, a month.” 

Gert covered her eyes and chuckled. “Yeah, okay, those were some ugly times for all of us. It’s a miracle we didn’t kill each other. Normally, I wouldn’t thank an omniscient, tyrannical, immaterial figment of imagination, but thank _God_ we pulled our heads out of our asses at the last minute.” 

It was nearly two hours later when Karolina went to hug Gert goodbye. Over the years, their lives began to cross over less and less, and there was always a moment of loss whenever they parted, knowing it could be months before they met up again. Knowing that next time she saw Lacey, she’d be so much bigger than the last time she filled her phone with close-up photos. 

Perhaps they should host parties like their parents used to. She pictured the six of them, Molly included, gathered in their living room, a fireplace burning as they swirled their wine and watched the children play. They’d talk about real estate and work and politics, or they’d reminisce and bring up anecdotes to embarrass each other. Just like their parents used to. 

As Karolina stepped into Wiztech’s dazzlingly white and glass building with Nico’s pumpkin risotto in hand, she couldn’t help but wonder when on earth they all got so _old_. She couldn’t even imagine the six of them busting out the old Twister mat or giggling excitedly as they scrambled around in a game of hide and seek. Whether or not it would be fun as thirty-year-olds, Karolina missed that childhood simplicity. She missed the little things that brought her complete and utter joy, missed taking moments to slow down, enjoy the company of the people she loved without thinking about bedtimes and deadlines. To stop thinking about obligations; to stop fussing about every detail. She missed a time where she didn’t have to Marie Kondo her life just to feel at ease, and just the rustle of sheets as Nico slipped into bed beside her was enough to make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

She thought back to the list of chores she’d zipped through this morning on her rare day off, and Gert’s vehemence about her daughter’s love for dinosaur nuggets, and thought maybe they all needed a break from reality. Perhaps even a vacation. 

“Ms. Dean,” the receptionist greeted with a bow. 

Karolina smiled back politely, then continued up the elevator. At the top floor, she greeted a few more faces as she continued along the corridor. The building, as usual, was buzzing with energy. She was several paces from Nico’s office when an adjacent door opened, followed by two angry voices that stopped at the sight of Karolina.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the beautiful Karolina Minoru-Dean.” 

A woman in a long bob strode up and, without further warning, engulfed Karolina in a big, enthusiastic hug. Behind her, a woman watched them with her arms crossed and her expression pinched tightly. “Hi, Amy,” Karolina squeaked as she felt the air crushed out of her lungs. With as much grace as she could muster in the midst of Amy’s hug, she gave the other woman an apologetic half-smile. “H-hi, Tina.” 

“Amy,” Tina said sternly. 

Amy rolled her eyes, releasing her grip. “Yeah, yeah, it’s apparently 1876 and it’s not _ladylike_ to show enthusiasm, I know. Just another flaw in my system. _So_ sorry I can’t always be the perfect robot.” 

Tina sighed. “When will you realize you have an image to uphold? Your father and I want very much to retire, and knowing that you will be the face of this company with your callousness worries me.” 

“Relax, Mom,” Amy said, slinging an arm around Karolina’s shoulder. “You have Nico, and Nico has Karolina. These two are, like, the poster children for the next generation. I don’t need to be the ‘face’ of anything. Just let me play with computers, and I’ll make some magic.” 

“You _can’t_ run from your responsibilities forever,” Tina said forcefully.

“Oh, _please_ , tell me more about what I can and cannot do because you’re so goddamn good at micromanaging every second of my _life_!” 

“That’s enough, Amy.”

“Oh, when _you_ —”

Tina raised a hand, signalling that the conversation was over—Amy dropped her arm, scowling. To Karolina, Tina plastered on a strained smile that never ceased to scare her after all these years. “Now, Karolina, to what do we owe the pleasure?” 

“Oh, um,” Karolina shifted her hold on her paper bag—talking to Tina never ceased to make her feel like she was in trouble either, after all these years, “I just wanted to drop off some lunch for Nico.” 

“I see.” 

“Wow, that’s so thoughtful. I can’t believe _some_ humans are so capable of expressing care and affection for each other,” Amy commented drily. 

Tina rubbed her temple. “This is extremely unnecessary.” 

Amy took a deep breath. “Fine. I don’t want to fight you, Mom. I’m just going to go take a walk, so you can consider my transfer request a little more rationally and _objectively_. I’ll see you for dinner tonight.” She stalked off, leaving Tina and her silent fury alone with Karolina. 

Over the years, Karolina had not been a stranger to Tina and Amy’s countless disagreements. There were times where she and Nico watched, not knowing whether to run or hide. There were times where Nico took her hand, and led her out of the room so they wouldn’t see how much the noise affected her. While Nico had her fair share of fights with Tina and Amy that often ended with one or both parties in tears and a sore throat, there was nothing quite like the way Tina and Amy stubbornly consumed themselves to resist the other. It hadn’t always been easy—two titans clashing seldom met in compromise, but it wasn’t all for nothing. They learned to handle each other over the years, learned to love and care for each other in spite of the hurt. In tiny little bursts, they learned to be open and honest, even if that didn’t always solve anything. If nothing else, they learned to walk away when they did not have the energy to de-escalate. 

The Minorus were fearless, volatile, and passionate, and Karolina, being on the outside looking in, loved that about them. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Tina sighed. “In fact, I’m sorry that you must be used to this by now.” 

Karolina gave her a sympathetic smile, but said nothing, familiar, by now, to Tina’s idiosyncrasies. Her lips were pursed, her brows knitted—she was thinking, and would not want to be interrupted. 

“I know that Amy’s heart is not here in ‘the ivory tower’, as she so graciously called it. I know she doesn’t want to be responsible for anybody, much less an entire company. She wants to play with her toys—fine—but I can’t put everything on Nico’s shoulders, either. You understand, right, Karolina?

Karolina nodded. Nico’s risotto was getting cold, she thought absentmindedly. 

“If I had to be honest, I think Nico can do it. She is a gifted leader and a brilliant mind, just like her sister. And I think her heart is in it—certainly more so than Amy. She just isn’t ready. Not yet,” Tina sighed, rubbing her eyes. “I know she has grown to be a strong, independent woman, and I am glad she has you to rely on in times of need, but I simply can’t, in good conscience, put so much pressure on her. It’s just too much, too soon, and she _needs_ guidance. She needs her big sister by her side.” 

Karolina cleared her throat. “I know that it isn’t my business to say,” she said, wringing the top of the paper bag nervously, “but why not allow Nico and Amy to discuss this between themselves? Perhaps they’ve already come to some kind of arrangement?” 

Tina crosses her arms, tapping her elbow, her eyes trained on Karolina’s face. “Hm.” 

“Have faith in them,” she added nervously, meeting Tina’s eyes with concentrated effort. “They’ll be okay. WizTech is in good hands.” 

Tina conceded with a small smile, then patted Karolina on the shoulder. “You’re a good girl, Karolina. You’ve always been,” she said as she passed by. “Nico is very lucky to have you.” 

That was the first time Tina so blatantly complimented her, and Karolina’s heart soared. She was barely able to keep her composure as Tina walked away. Once she was gone, Karolina burst into Nico’s office. She was, in retrospect, lucky there was no conference call or big-shot client to make the scene extremely awkward. Nico, on the other hand, wasn’t counting herself lucky when she yelped and jumped nearly a foot into the air in surprise.

“Jesus, Karolina!” Nico cried, as several sheafs of paper scattered across her desk and onto the floor. “You scared the hell out of me! What’s wrong with good, old-fashioned knocking?” 

“Guess what, babe?” Karolina said, slamming the food and both palms down onto Nico’s desk eagerly. 

“Is that pumpkin risotto?” Nico asked, pointing. “How did you know I’d been craving that all morning?” She reached for the bag, but Karolina pulled it away from her. Nico raised a brow. “Whatever happened better be really damn good. You know how I feel about people getting in the way of me and food,” she warned. 

“I just ran into Tina.”

“That can’t be good.” 

“She called me a good girl,” Karolina said, grinning from cheek to cheek. 

Nico made a face. “Ew, in what _context_ ? And why do you look _way_ too happy? Please don’t tell me you’re crushing on my mom.” 

“Well, you know, objectively, she’s ambitious, intelligent, beautiful, fierce—what’s not to love?” 

Nico smothered her face with her hands, exclaiming, “Karolina! Oh my God, please shut your mouth hole up right now.” 

“I’m joking!” Karolina laughed. “And also, maybe, not joking.” Finally, she dug into the paper bag and pulled out the paper carton and fork, then set it in front of Nico before she could leap across the table and attack her. Though the horror in her expression did not fade, that seemed to placate her enough to continue. “Anyway, she was talking out loud at me about Amy’s whole not-wanting-to-be-CEO thing, and I told her to let you guys sort it out. Then, she said, ‘You’re a good girl, Karolina. Nico is lucky to have you.’ And I know it’s not a big deal, but...I guess I never knew whether she approved of me or not. So I was happy to hear that.” 

“Why couldn’t you start with that?” Nico said, swallowing several more quick mouthfuls before she continued, “so much less creepy. And Amy and I have been talking about this for ages—Mom’s just being anal and crazy. As usual.”

“Well,” Karolina shrugged, “I think she’s just worried about you.”

“That’s one way to phrase her complete lack of faith in me,” Nico mumbled. 

“C’mon, Nico,” Karolina soothed. She rounded her desk and placed both hands on her shoulders, gently massaging. “You know that’s not true. She’s just worried it’ll be too much. It's not like she hasn’t been in your position before. It was hard, but she had Robert—so, I don’t know, maybe she just doesn’t want you to go at it alone.”

Nico leaned back, and rested her cheek on Karolina’s hand, stilling her movements. “I have you.” 

“Of course,” Karolina said, bending down to lay a kiss on Nico’s head, “you’ll always have me. It’s just...sometimes I see you working so much, and you’re so overwhelmed by everything that I just feel so...helpless. You take on everything just to make everyone else happy, and I...I want so bad to take the world off your shoulders, but don’t always know where to put it, Nico. And—and I know Amy can help a lot more people if she’s allowed to use that crazy brilliant, innovative mind elsewhere, but...I worry about you the most.”

“Alright, you win, you big, soft teddy bear,” Nico sighed, rubbing the arm on her shoulder to soothe her, “I’ll talk to Amy again. See if she can delay her transfer for a few more months. Or, at least until Mom and I can win the board over and get them to start taking me a little more seriously. Happy? I hope this you and Mom teaming up thing doesn’t become a habit.”

Karolina nodded. 

“Good,” Nico whispered. “I’m sorry for always making you worry.”

“I only worry because I love you,” Karolina said, wrapping her up in a hug, “I better let you get back to work, or we’re never going to make that dinner reservation tonight.” She leaned down further for a kiss, which Nico was only too happy to return, leaving them both a little breathless by the end. They mirrored each other’s grins as they exchanged their love and said their goodbyes once more. 

As Karolina drove home, and as Nico returned to her risotto, both of them glanced at the clock in their own private worlds, each counting down the hours until they would see each other again. 

At home, Karolina dug up the weeds in their garden, a straw hat pulled low to shield her from the mid-afternoon California sun. An hour later, she threw herself into a seldomly-used hammock tied between two neglected orange trees, and laid, listening to the world around her. The last time she remembered feeling so still was under the starry skies in Alex’s backyard, seventeen years ago. It was strange how quickly time seemed to have vanished—she might as well have jumped into another dream. Her thoughts meandered through the past, the process of growing up alongside her childhood friends, only to branch out into their own separate lives. Though her and Nico’s lives intertwined, they had spent the last decade so deeply buried by their obligations that they were no longer each other’s everything. When did that happen? 

“You always make time for the important thing,” Gert said earlier. 

Did they?

Karolina laid her hands on her stomach, wishing she could run her fingers through Nico’s hair while she curled up on top. Soon, she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

It would be nearly two hours later, when the sound of her name slowly penetrated her consciousness. She felt a gentle caress against her face and across her lips, featherlight touches brushing her hair behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered open, and a contented sigh escaped her lips. 

“Welcome home,” she mumbled sleepily. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Nico replied with a chuckle. 

“Join me?”

Nico glanced at her watch and bit her lip. Karolina drifted back toward sleep. Then, the soft thump of fabric hit the grass as Nico shrugged off her coat. The hammock rattled from side to side with the added weight.

“Oof, my boob.”

“Oops. Sorry, babe.” Nico shifted to curl up against Karolina, her head laying on her chest as her arm rested across her torso. She breathed in deeply, and exhaled, her chest pressing against Karolina’s ribcage, warm and alive as she released the last dregs of her exhaustion. 

“Tired?” Karolina murmured, barely lucid as she wrapped an arm around Nico and laid a hand on her stomach. 

“Mmhmm,” Nico replied, relaxing into the rhythm of Karolina’s steady heartbeat. “This is nice. I haven’t slept here for years. Forgot we even had this out here.” 

“Shhh...sleep now.” 

“Karolina, our—mmph!” 

Karolina’s hand had travelled from Nico’s stomach to her mouth, covering it with a palm. “Sleep,” she repeated, planting a kiss on the top of Nico’s head. “Just for a bit.” She released her hand and received a weak glare, but Nico did not put up a fight. She snuggled more comfortably against Karolina’s chest and exhaled once more. 

The afternoon sun was dipping now, the air crisper and cooler. The leaves above them rustled. A dog barked in the distance. Cars zipped by and birds flew overhead. All the while, Karolina and Nico swayed gently in their hammock and, for the first time in years, allowed time to slowly rake its fingers over them as they laid wrapped up in each other.

Some time later, Nico awoke with a shiver and a realization that they were going to be late for dinner. She had been sleeping on one arm, and it prickled all over as she shifted around with a groan. 

“Nico?”

Nico tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes. She sat up, her head aching slightly as the blood rushed at the sudden movement. In response to the sudden lack of heat, Karolina curled up, wrapping her arms around Nico’s middle and pressing her face against her lower back, searching for warmth. Nico glanced at her watch. 

“Shit, we should get ready.” 

“No, stay,” Karolina whined. 

She felt warm fingers comb through her long hair, massaging the curve of her skull along their route, then Nico’s voice, sleep-addled still and sweet. “We’ll miss dinner, Karolina.”

“That’s okay,” she said, her knee coming up to rest on Nico’s leg as she clutched her even tighter. 

“Babe, I made this reservation three months ago.” 

For a long moment, Karolina said nothing. Then, she propped herself up by the elbow and peered up into Nico’s face. “Do you really, really want to go?” 

“Karolina…” 

“Tell me,” she said, gently tugging at Nico’s shirt, “do you want to go because you enjoy putting on uncomfortable dresses and uncomfortable heels and eating expensive food and talking in hushed whispers to avoid the press? Or do you want to go because you made a reservation three months ago?” 

Nico raised a brow. “Are you okay? You were looking forward to this yesterday.”

In response, Karolina took her by the shoulder and pushed them both back down into the hammock, then tucked her head under Nico’s chin with a sigh. 

“Karolina?” Nico asked, drawing small strokes along the curve of her neck. 

“It’s just”—Karolina lifted her head to meet Nico’s eyes—“when did we get so _old_?”

Nico gasped. “How dare you—I’m the youngest CEO of a Fortune 500 company, you know.”

Karolina rolled her eyes, slapping her shoulder playfully. “You _know_ that’s not what I mean. I’m not just talking about numbers. I’m talking about…getting so swept up in everything and rushing toward deadline after deadline. When did we start doing and prioritizing so many things that didn’t matter in the long run? Like, did I _have_ to take the dry cleaning out today? I could’ve done it on the way to work tomorrow. I could’ve used my time today to paint, to dance, to—I don’t know—sing? Finish my book? Go for a stroll? The world used to be so full of possibilities, Nico! Now I can’t even think of other examples.

And maybe I just want to, like, revel in the fact that we’re _married_ —I mean, how _insane_ is that? As a kid, I would never, ever, ever thought I could ever get here. Look at all the things I have”—she waved an arm around them with the excitement of a starry-eyed child—“this house, the cars in the garage, these trees, this hammock—being able to lay here with Nico Minoru in _this_ hammock? And maybe...maybe in a few years we’d even have a kid running around. It’s breathtaking, isn’t it? I wouldn’t have dared to even _dream_ about all this. Can you imagine telling my thirteen-year-old self that I would one day be Karolina Minoru-Dean? Like, I’d have a _hyphen_. God, Nico, isn’t it all just so...amazing?” She lowered her arm and ran a finger along her wife’s jaw. “Can’t we just, I don’t know, take it in for a little while?” 

Nico laughed. “I think even if thirteen-year-old Karolina told thirteen-year-old Nico all of this, that Nico would’ve been just as dense.”

“Then, that Karolina would’ve been just as annoying as she followed Nico around with—oh, what did Chase call it?”

“Fuck-me eyes?”

“Nico! They’re only thirteen!”

Nico rolled her eyes. “Oh. My bad—I didn’t realize I married a nun.”

“Hey, I admit I was a bit slow back then, but if I had to be a nun _now_ ”—Karolina kissed the sensitive skin beneath Nico’s ear, and fluttered her fingers down her chest, resting them just above her pants—“I wouldn’t last a day.”

“Is that right?” Nico asked, meeting her lips halfway. She swiped her tongue along Karolina’s bottom lip, smirking when Karolina sighed. She lowered her voice, her dark eyes sparkling. “Do you want to go inside?” 

“So, no dinner?” Karolina teased. 

Nico swung herself out of the hammock and picked up the discarded jacket. When Karolina came around the other side, she reached over for her hand, threading their fingers together as she dragged them both past the garden. “Fuck dinner,” she said, swaying their hands slightly, “we can order pizza or something once I’m done with you.” 

“Someone is eager,” Karolina chuckled. 

Just as they reached the back door, standing on their little patio, Nico pulled them to a stop. “Wait,” she whispered. Karolina tilted her head, studying the way Nico’s eyes glanced at their intertwined hands, then up into Karolina’s eyes. “Karolina?” 

“What’s wrong?” 

Nico bit her lip. “Nothing,” she said, “it’s just...are you really okay with spending our anniversary like this? I just—it’s...it’s a special day, y’know? I want you to feel like you’re my everything. Because you are.”

Karolina squeezed her hand, barely able to contain her smile. “Nico, I don’t need fancy dinners for that. You make me feel that way every day. I love you more than anything, and I want to celebrate anniversaries with you for the rest of my life.” 

“I love you too,” she murmured. Nico gently tugged her closer, then tiptoed up for a kiss. “Oh, and don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking kids into your little speech.”

Karolina’s heart jumped. “Maybe...I want to talk about it?”

“Yeah,” Nico grinned. “We can talk about it. I’m...I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, so, yeah.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, but not tonight, okay?” Nico said, peering up at her through her lashes. “Tonight is all about us.” 

Karolina wrapped both arms around her and squeezed her in a tight embrace. “God, I love you so much, Nico,” she sighed into her neck. “I can’t say it enough.”

Nico laughed, her hands travelling up along Karolina’s back as she pressed her cheek into her shoulder to drink up the warmth and love emanating from her. “Happy anniversary, Karolina.” 

“Happy anniversary, Nico.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you so much for reaching the end of my very first deanoru fic. Watch me now plunge into the deep-end as I swim in these feelings. I wrote this story in a moment of sheer insanity, as I was complaining to a friend what a creepy movie 13 Going on 30 was, and how much of a better film it would be if it were a queer story. Originally, I was going to default to writing for my beautiful Mamamoo followers, but my friend convinced me that this would be a much better story for deanoru. I. Agree. 
> 
> Two weeks later, this piece was born. 
> 
> Honestly, I never expected to be here. I thought I was happy enough with the canon that I'd never have to write for this fandom. ("I was waiting for you to write a deanoru fic," my friend said--in retrospect, maybe I was too.) As I was writing this piece, however, I fell more and more in love with the characters, and I'm just full of happy feelings now. 
> 
> Also, please forgive me if depictions of 13-year-olds were inaccurate. It's been a long time since I was 13, and I was desperately trying to avoid Jennifer Garner's representation. 
> 
> If you like this story, please let me know! You can also follow me @fireroastedmoo on Twitter :)
> 
> Hope to see you all again in the future!


End file.
